I was writing in my journal today about my abuse.  I suspect it started when I was a toddler.  My mom would hit me and my sister who was a couple years older than I was.  She hated her life, her husband, and we were what tied her to him.  She would hit us a lot with whatever she could get her hands on, and she wouldake us kneel with our arms held above our heads for hours.  If we cried or moved she would hit us more.  I remember her face.. The disgust and hate she showed to her children.

 

I am 36 now and I am just now talking about this to people.  I am still and probably always will be affected by the way I was brought up.  I am still terrified of her even though she can’t hurt me anymore.  I am terrified of life.

 

I am telling you this because I know in my heart that some of you are living this nightmare right now and you do not have to wait 36 years to open up, to reach out, and to make subtle changes that will effect the outcome of your lives later down the line.

 

You are worthy of being lived and being happy.  Things WILL change, you will change.  Keep kindness in your hearts.. Not just for others but for yourself.  You are not worthless.  Grow like a dandelion between the cracks of the sidewalk and when you can, blossom into a rose and spread love and comfort in the world.

 

I love you.  I love who you will become.  I understand your pain and fear.  Things do get better.

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