I am sorry that i have not visited the site for a while.  I have had a rough time and still do not have the love or support i really could use. Two weeks ago i witnessed 2 of my friends deaths following a motorcycle accident.  My husband tried so hard to save their lives but couldn’t.  Last Friday, we had 2 funerals in one day.  My husband can’t drive now.  He got a DUI and lost his license.  So now i drive him and my stepdaughter every where.  He is a horrble "back seat driver" too. We are not getting along very well.  I am angry about how mean he talks to me and how very little positive remarks come my way especially with all i do for them.  I am sad and angry.  I have not even wanted to be around Andy and Carry.  They were pretty much unsupportive at the funerals. They were not even there when it happened and they acted like they were part of the experience. I was there.  I had to wash the blood out of my husband’s pants.  They aren’t my friends.  I think that personally they don’t need me anymore so they aren’t going to care about me anymore.  Fickle and users are what i consider them to be.  I was there for both of them all the time before they met. I introduced them and kept the hope open that they would end up together.  They did and almost immediately started treating me and my husband like we weren’t good enough for them anymore.  It was outright rude and selfish.  Carry and I used to go out at least every 2 weeks.  She stopped calling me.  I would call her and she would brag about going out with her other friends.  She still does that to me.  Like she really is trying to hurt me.  She hasn’t instigated a conversation for a long time.  She acts as though i am not worthy of her.  She is no longer my friend.  So i don’t know what I did other than finally stick up for myself one night.  But she has persuaded Andy to be a real jerk to me.. won’t even hug me when he always did… and she ia a cold hearted bitch to me.  Every effort I make to heal whatever wound there is falls short because of her attitude toward me.   I don’t need that.  I have to work so hard to even want to live sometimes i don’t need that negativity in my life.   I am incredibly sad, depressed, angry, and devastated right now. Thanks for listening.


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