I just feel really trapped right now.

Everything has continuously been getting worse and worse. I hit my breaking point like weeks ago and people told me things would get better but they are only getting worse.

My grandpa (not the one from the previous posts) is dying and there is nothing I can do and I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to see him again due to covid.

I really want to come out to my family but I’m scared of what their reactions might be. I am almost certain that my parents will be fine with me being pan but my aunt didn’t give the best reaction when my cousin came out and a lot of my family members on my other side of the family strongly support a certain politician who is very homophobic and transphobic so I don’t want to ruin my relationship with them (because I don’t know if they share those specific beliefs) and my grandma is catholic so I don’t know her opinion on the matter and the scariest thing in the world to me is if she didn’t love me anymore if I were to come out. And on top of that, I also have to come out as genderfluid eventually and that is a topic that I have zero family members with similar experiences for me to compare to. I just want to be able to be myself with my family but I’m scared that they will hate me if I am.

I just really don’t know what to do.