Today was orientation for X-Mart. I'm grateful to have been hired by someone, but the retail thing is so stinking old… I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to retail once I had my degree, and here I am. I'm choosing to laugh about it, because I already know how mean I'm capable of getting otherwise.

Every corporate-run money-whore spews cultish jargon and acronyms while preaching teamwork and "fast and fun service" with shit-eating grins. I've worked something like 22 jobs since I was 17 years old. I've heard the same nonsense for every one of them. We all know the truth, yet executives really think we're buying that milarky–like the Nazis trying to convince the public that they were sending the Jews to summer camp.

I dunno. I must be hormonal or something, because I'm finding it hard to laugh it off today. I can't let myself get too disgusted by that BS right now. I NEED to stay positive or I will fall into the old habits that had me screwing up and burning bridges in the past. Piss on them. All I need is another good reference. I have to remember to laugh everything off. When a manager gives me 100 things to do and then complains that they're not finished yesterday–laugh it off. When some ignorant shit-bag treats me like a moronic peon–laugh it off. 

BUT THEY'RE SO FRIGGIN' DECEITFUL!!! …this kind of job is so pointless and NOT NOT NOT fun. 

I know, I know. Deep breath. Not totally pointless–the point is to make a little money and create another great reference so I can move on to something with more purpose. Not every step up will be painless. I just have to push on through or this will continue to be the story of my life, and I just can't have that.