I tried to drown myself in my bathtub a few hours ago. I’m dealing with a lot of sh*t related to religion. Saying that word alone gives me anxiety. Im tired of feeling stuck, I’m tired of feeling I don’t have any other choice, I’m tired of people ignoring the horrible things that have happened, I’m tired of feeling invalidated, I’m tired of constantly questioning myself, I’m just so tired. Im not Christian, I’m not even spiritual, but I was brought up to be that way. It is not encouraged to question it, it is not encouraged to criticize it, but everything else is supposed to be challenged. It’s hypocritical at its core, manipulative at its core, abusive at its core. I know not everyone is like that, but I still wholeheartedly disagree with the belief system they’re a part of. It’s a complete contradiction, it keeps people close minded and as much as I want it to change or not exist as a whole, I have little hope that it will. Idk if there are guidelines to what I’m allowed to post here, but I just wanted to know I’m not alone.
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I don’t want to hear any religious bs either. You are not welcome to comment if thats something you’ll do.
Hey Sand, I am so happy that you are still here with us! Life is a glorious mess that can be celebrated and beautiful to share.
🙂
I was once in that dark, cold and lonely place too… You are definitely not alone okay!!
~♥~
I’ve been struggling with Depression for more than a few years, and Anxiety seems to be a close friend of depression. So they have both been unwelcome guests in my own head. *
~♥~
If you want to go into detail about the “horrible things” that is fine, if not, that is okay too.
~♥~
Anyways, let me introduce myself, my name is Iris, I am 19 and just moved away from our family farm in Omak, Washington a few months ago.
~♥~
I was lucky enough to grow up in a “Spiritual” more than a religious family…. Mom and Dad were raised in two different kinds of families. Dad’s family is mostly traditional Presbyterian, Mom’s family is more ambiguous & secular. So they decided that once the three of us, M & J and me were old enough to understand the concept of religion & spirituality, that we could choose to learn about any type of belief system. We were encouraged to be curious, to ask questions. Mom and Dad were so open minded!
…
Mom has been gone for a while now, so only Dad is nearby.
~♥~
M & J, are my older brother and sister, M is 15 years older than me and J is 17 years older… While growing up their nickname for me (for a while) was “Oops!”. But that stopped once I learned how to retaliate….. 🙂
~♥~
I am going to over simplify religions okay? It all comes down to belief!
…
………That is it………
…
Simple but not easy. Believe what you want, want to worship Divine Ducks? go for it!
~♥~
There is a lot of hypocrisy in many religions. definitely manipulative. and unfortunately lots of abuse. This is why I choose to keep an open mind…
~♥~
Mom was a Wiccan, and I really like this belief system, it is so flexible and welcoming. Based on nature, not humans, and on our relationship to Mother Earth.
~♥~
There are guidelines here, but you are absolutely fine! I can’t wait to hear what you want to share….. Welcome to the Tribe!!
~♥~
There are lots of different people here….. Chats are fun but limited in scope. lots of members like to blog, take a look around… and if you want to talk…?
~♥~
Sending you a welcoming smile, arms open for a hug (but only if you want one) , some empathy, hope and prayers. – Iris
* If you want to learn more about me and my story just take a look at my profile. 🙂
Hello, thank you for commenting. I’m doing better today, but it is a roller coaster so who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow or even tonight. I wish I was never born into these things, it makes like much harder than I’d like. I’ve been looking into therapy and I hope I get it soon. I’ve actually been interested in Wicca or witchcraft, I did research for myself and it seems really interesting. It’s still a little scary for me though, so I’m not gonna jump into anything(yet?). Thank you for sharing ❤️
Anytime! 🙂 If you are curious about Wicca maybe ask (in your nearest bookstore that carries books about religions. ) if they know of anyone in a local coven? There might be an online site for like minded people.
~♥~
Become friends with a Wiccan and ask lots of questions, ask if you can join in as an observer?
~♥~
I am a coven of one. It’s just me, alone… which feels safe! Why yes, I am kind of hiding from life…
~♥~
My world has been really small, retreating took time, little by little. I started retreating way before Covid arrived, in fact I barely noticed it for the longest time! Q – does this mean I am a recluse? I consider my “family” Other than Dad, to be Bob the dog, “my cats” Tony & Cleo, a goat and a horse. Why yes, I have lived on a farm for years! 🙂
~♥~
One book i really like is Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham.
~♥~
btw, I know a fair number of Wiccans and very , very few of them describe themselves as “Witches”. They prefer to be known simply as “Wiccans”…
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My brain takes a hard let turn here…. change in subject ahead!
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…The “witches alphabet” is really just a modern version of Theban, from Thebes in the middle east, not the other Thebes. I wanted to get it as accurate as possible (Each translation includes mistakes, so I wanted to get a look at the oldest copy around)…. and actually got to look at an “original” copy of Henry Cornelius Agrippa’s book, “Third Book of Occult Philosophy or Religion…” when it was published in Italian. At the Oregon State University in the Library’s rare book room. I had to wash my hands, put on white cotton gloves and I was not allowed to touch the book! And encouraged not to breath on it. Sam, a good friend of my brother, took me there as a “guest”!! So cool, it was printed in the 1760’s !!! I went through all of this just to follow my love of ancient scripts and dictionaries. I am a “geek” about scripts 🙂 I am working on memorizing the 5th on my list. So, yes I have four alphabets other than English memorized…..
~♥~
Sending you some hugs, smiles, peace and prayers – Iris
Hey Sand, I want to apologize for getting so far off topic… a perfect example of my ADHD rearing it’s little head!?! – Iris