trust,

i don't like that word,

because it's such a powerful word,

so much meaning,

so easy to be broken,

i have a hard time with trust,

im always scared that if i let someone get close to me that they will break my trust,

i've become so distant from everyone lately,

but i'm just so paranoid about being hurt,

i've been through it too many times,

it's not like i don't want to be close to friends,

but it's hard especially when i'm so numb from pain,

people feel like i'm hurting them because i don't talk to them,

that's not the truth,

i'm just an emotional wreak that's falling apart,

there are so many things that run through my mind,

people ask me why i always seem like i'm in a different world when i stare off into nothing,

and to be honest i am in a different world,

i'm trying to think of a world without pain and where i can trust people,

it's an amazing world,

but then i have to come back to reality,

people say i've been so quiet lately,

and honestly it's because i'd rather not get involved in conversations,

i just want to be able to think my own thoughts that wont be criticized,

i keep so many things to myself,

and i suppose i've become distant but there is a benifit of that,

i'm not being hurt,

i'm just staying numb,

no happiness,

and no sadness,

just numb,

it's kind of nice,

but it all goes back to trust,

that powerful word that is so delicate,

it seems harmless but it's quite dangerous,

trust?