Firstly I must apologise to a dear friend here on DT, angel0614 – I have got all your messages, and I am sorry that I havent replied yet. The truth – I have been dealing with some issues recently and just wanted to shut the world out.

Problem is the world kept banging on the door! I have been struggling with some…well…basically communications problems. I have been trying really hard to keep the positive momentum i have had recently going. And this time of year is usually hard for me and it proved pretty bad this time. Instead of talking about my problems with my other half though, i bottled them up and pushed them down. I suddenly felt at one point that i had no way i out. I needed a little support from him which i couldnt or wouldnt ask for and then I couldnt leave him but couldnt stay, couldnt live but couldnt die…….i felt myself slipping back again……back into a bad depression i was goin to bed at 5pm and sleeping for like 16 hours a day!!! it was back! I then had a screaming fit where i kicked things, cried, shouted, punched the pillow and probably my bf as he tried to calm me down…… it wasnt pretty. I then cried and cried and cried and felt better for it, apart from the headache. I found that the things i was worried about deep down started to fall into place – like going to sleep at a normal time. Then my bf's bro calls at 1am and wakes me up about what tv he should buy?!?!? i mean, really!!!! so i cant get back to sleep and its 5am and i am still awake!!! DOOMED AGAIN I SEE!!! Well i finally sleep and i sleep in till 1pm the next day – see the bad cycle i am tryin to break rear its ugly head again. What am i to do. At least i got on with some things i have been meaning to do and not wast today! I am soo disappointed with myself for the way i have been recently. But i am glad that I was able to finally talk to my bf about the problems i was having – not sure if they changed things tho!

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