Well I talked to my friend from AA today and told him that I was going to put myself in inpatient at a local hospitol that deals with addcition and mental illness. Good thing is they take people with no insurance which is a bonus for me.  I think like they say if one thing doesn't work try something different right? Well he thinks I am stupid for doing that and says all I need to do is go to more meetings.  I my be a stupid drunk and make pathetic decessions but I do not see how when I have relapsed numerous times that more meetings are going to help.  AA is a support group they are not medical professionals I think I need to understand why my brain keeps taking me down the wrong road before I can converse with people who are just like me.  He has been sober for 2 years and I think that's great for him and AA worked for him but I maybe wrong but sometimes people need more than just support esspecially if there is an underlying mental condition that the drugs and alcohol have been covering as in my case, I self medicated for so long I am excited to find out what is feels like to be happy and real.  I need more help than AA can give me now after inpatient damn better believe I will use AA as a support group but I need to get better and I think tonight I will sleep and be positive that this next time will be the last.  Just like military people have to know the enemy before being able to win the war I think I need to understand alcohol my diease and mental illness before I can attack them with a medical professional. I feel so right on this one so I guess he can be mad at me.