WOW – I take a little time off from reading the blogs and look at what I missed! If I have learned anything around here it’s this. We are human beings that just happen to have the disease of addiction. Now the people who were here before me would say KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID because, they knew from personal experience that we can complicate a glass of milk. So I will tell you about me. Not about you. About what I need to do. Not about what you need to do. I say stupid things sometime. It happens when my ego tell me I can teach some how to be a better person. I can use my words it judge others. I do this when I think I have the right to do the judging. I tell others that what they say at a meeting or on a site like this could cause a newcomer to go and get high and maybe die. I am just not that powerful. No one in my life ever had the power to make me get high and they never had the power to make me get or stay clean. True that what some have shared at a meeting or with me personally has helped me or inspired me. But the choice to stay clean has and always will be mine. I have truly loved all the blogs that I have read today. It has confirmed that I am human and in my humanness not alone. I feel pain weather it be physical or emotional. That regardless of my age I’m like a little kid sometime who just doesn’t know how to do grown-up things. That denial is powerful. It stands for “DON’T EVEN KNOW I’M LYING” That the disease of addiction can not be defined by one symptom like drugs, gambling, sex, shopping, drinking or anything else I can do to escape feelings, emotions and responsibility. It’s defined by my obsessive and compulsive tendencies. I get a laugh when I here an addict shear that their disease acted out because they were dishonest or mean or self centered (you know character defects).

I believe that my defects of character are part of me being human. We all have them weather we are addict or not. True, that I have learned to use them more then most people and are they ingrained in me deeper then most. That’s what steps and my HP are for. The war I’ve been through in active addiction I’m sure has made me tough enough to withstand anything someone may say at a meeting or on this site. NOW having said all this, if it’s true that I am not unique then I am not alone in all my faults and strengths. That’s why this works because we are not alone in all are humanness. Thank GOD.  
 
JUST KEEP COMING. My love to you all.      
 
P.S. A must see.

http://tinyurl.com/c8zppt

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