I CAN RELATE …..

FIRST OF ALL LET ME APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE THIS MAY OFFEND. I WRITE THIS

NOT TO GLORIFY OR CONDONE THIS EVENT BUT TO STEP BACK AND COMPARE

TWO DISEASES; DEPRESSION AND ADDICTION.

THE RECENT TRAGEDY AT VIRGINIA TECH AFFECTED US ALL IN VARIOUS WAYS;

OUTRAGE, SHOCK, AWE, AND AMAZEMENT. WE WONDER HOW SUCH A THING

COULD HAPPEN? COULDN'T ANYONE SEE THAT THIS GUY WAS SICK AND NEEDED

HELP LONG BEFORE HE COULD DO SUCH A THING? HE HAD TO SHOW SIGNS OF

HOW SICK HE REALLY WAS, WHY DIDN' T ANYONE DO SOMETHING?

THE TRUTH IS THAT HE REALLY DID HAVE THE DISEASE OF DEPRESSION AND

THERE WERE SIGNS. DEPRESSION, AS WELL AS ADDICTION, HAS RECENTLY

STARTED BEING THOUGHT OF AS ILLNESSES; NOT JUST EXCUSES FOR BAD

BEHAVIOR.

I HAVE DEPRESSION AND I AM AN ADDICT NO, DON'T WORRY I'M NOT GOING TO

SHOOT ANYONE. I DON'T KNOW WHICH CAME FIRST, OR WAS EVIDENT FIRST I

SHOULD SAY. I REMEMBER FEELING SAD AND LONELY …. NOT ACCEPTED ALOT.

I WAS WEIRD ( I THOUGHT) AND NOBODY COULD REALLY LIKE ME. THE FEW THAT

KNEW THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME BEING A TEENAGER? REMEMBER THOSE RAGING

HORMONES?

I STARTED DRINKING AND DRUGS TO HELP ME FIT IN, PLUS I WASN'T THAT SAD WHEN

USED. I GOT THAT “F— IT” ATTITUDE, AND COULD ACTUALLY NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE

THOUGHT OF ME, “F— THEM TOO!” I WAS SO CONFUSED, DRUGS MADE ME FEEL BETTER

ABOUT MY DEPRESSION, BUT IT WAS TEN TIMES AS BAD WHEN I CAME DOWN.

FIRST… I GOT HELP FOR MY DEPRESSION (ONCE I ADMITTED IT ) AND WENT TO THE PSYCH

CENTER, TWICE. THEY PUT ME ON MORE DRUGS, LOL, AND ACTUALLY INHANCED MY

HIGH WHEN I DRANK WITH IT. NOTHING COULD GET ME AWAY FROM MYSELF EVEN

DOING MORE AND DIFFERENT DRUGS.

TO CUT THIS SHORT… I EVENTUALLY ADMITTED THAT I HAD A PROBLEM AND SOUGHT

HELP WITH DETOX AND THROUGH THE ROOMS OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS. TODAY

I WONDER ABOUT THOSE THAT CAN'T OR WON'T ADMIT THAT THEY HAVE A PROBLEM.

I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS WHEN I HEAR ABOUT THE “TECH 32”, WHAT ABOUT THE 33RD?

SHOULDN'T IT BE THE “TECH 33”? THE YOUNG MAN OBVIOUSLY HAD MENTAL PROBLEMS,

WHO KNOWS HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ADDICT. WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE NOTICE AND

HELP HIM?

WHEN I SEE AN ADDICT AND I KNOW HE OR SHE HAS A PROBLEM SHOULD I REPORT THEM,

OR …. OR… UMMMM …. REACH OUT? TELL THEM THEY HAVE A PROBLEM? BUT WAIT A MINUTE …

WE ARE OF NO REAL HELP TO A SUFFERING ADDICT UNTIL THEY ADMIT THEY HAVE A

PROBLEM, RIGHT?

HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO AVOID THE EVENTS

OF THAT DAY … SOMETHING ABOUT A HIGHER POWER AND HIS WILL. TRUTH IS THE “33RD”

WAS A VICTIM OF HIS OWN DISEASE, JUST AS WE ARE AS ADDICTS. DO WE SIT IN MEETINGS

AND JUDGE WHO HAS DONE THE WORST THINGS WHILE WE WERE USING? I DON'T KNOW WHERE

I'M GOING WITH THIS OTHER THAN THERE WERE “33” VICTIMS ON THAT DAY NOT “32”.

BY NOT COUNTING THE LAST CASUALITY AREN'T WE, AS ADDICTS, BEING JUDGEMENTAL

IN A SITUATION OUR DISEASE AND BAD JUDGEMENTS HAVE PUT US IN SO MANY TIMES.

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY CRAZY RAMBLINGS … JUST VENTING ALITTLE I GUESS. MY

HEART AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO THE “32” FAMILIES AND VICTIMS OF THAT DAY …. AS

WELL AS THE “33RD”.

WITH LOVE……..MRK4NA
:biggrin:

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