I hate this. The part where I feel like the world has no meaning or just thinking about tomorrow makes me go insane. Ive been awake since 4 this morning. Ive been cry ever since this morning. I want to die… I thought about over and over again. Normally I can Just ignore and find little things in the day to get me by but today. I’m fighting the feeling of walking out on my job. I’m really thinking I could take a bottle of pills after work and never wake up. because it all seems pointless.
I can’t be myself with a single person. I can’t go one day without something coming up next.
Money, family, school, metal health, your actual health and more..
All over it feels so out of reach lately.. I’m to big of a coward to kill myself… but the feeling to end it all today is at an all time high.
I can relate, if that helps..
Sometimes i wish life can at least pause long enough for me to take a breath, to somehow recalibrate.. for something to somehow change.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished my life would end, that i could commit suicide..
There’s nothing brave about suicide, and not doing it doesn’t make you a coward.
I hope this feeling is temporary, that tomorrow (or a future tomorrow) will be better.
That we both have a future where this reality is in our past.