Got my papers in the mail the other day offically scheduling my surgery for my tubal surgery for the 21st of this month at 8:45am . I have to bacl to the OB this comming Thuresday for a Pre- OP appointment to sign some more papers & for them to go over what all is going to happen the morning of the my surgery . I will be so happy to get this over & done so I can finally go off these damn birth control pills , to say the least being on these damn hormones at the age 34 is not very fun , these damn hormones have really messed with my anxiety , they have made my anxiety worse , I'm already on medication for axiety , the birth control in its self just makes it worse , not to mention the fact that they make my periods horrible, longer ect .. My tubal is surgeral is just having my tubal clamped , so I don't have to worry about having any more children . I love hubby to death but I have already lost one child to DSS , the least thing I need to bring another child N to this world & have it taken away from me , I can't nurse a baby in my womb for 9 months & then have it taken from me , it wouldn't be fair to my husband , plus to think about his mother all the emotions it would put her through , its just not worth it . Children are a gift from god but at the same time they also a life time commitment & even when they reach 18 years old they still are a commitment .. When you become a parent , your a parent for the rest of your life , my husband doesn't understand that concept , he has a tendency to be selfish & when your a parent you can't be sefish . Plus with hubby's Bipolar we have a 60 % chance of our child being Bipolar & with the Mental health system here in WNC being crappy , it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into that type of environment . DSS has already taken so much from me , I'm just thankful & blessed to have one healthy & happy child on this planet & I only have 4 more years until I can legally go look for him & that those four years are up , no one can stop me from looking for him .. I'm hoping that once my surgery is done & over with that hubby will nurse me , like I nursed him , like they say Proof is in the pudding