So, Yesterday I went with my Aunt to get the Baby, a couple month's this would have not been possiable bc I didn't go anywhere without my Mum, I even had trouble going on a highway with my Mum, and to get the Baby you do have to go n the high way and it's a good 1/2 hour – 40 minute drive. I have gotten close with my Aunt so it hasn't been so bad.. It was a huge step for me, makes me happy, but Yesterday was the first time I had gone with Her in a couple week's bc I have been working, but we wanted to go see Him on my day off. He alway's makes me smile.. I was a little anxious b4 I left and the start of the drive, but I did it and did some positive self talking to myself which was good.. I just Wish that there is a day that I don't have to do that, I don't have to be anxious to go some where, I can just go and not even think about it.. & SInce I went with my Aunt, I missed my appt. with my Therapist, but I havent had much to talk about, my Life has been pretty much work and Family stuff that we already talked about.. My Next step is getting myself a social life, something that a 25 year old shouldn't have a problem with, but of course all my friend's left, walked away from me when I was bad with the anxiety and couldn't go out.. It was even worse when those so called friend's made fun of me and made my anxiety into a joke, like it was something I could Help and I was just a freak or something.. So makes it hard to trust ppl or get close too new friend's, I miss having a best friend to open up to, especially about boy's but I dont know how to get close to people anymore, I guess.. & I don't know where the heck to meet new ppl, since at work I am here alone.

& In the Boy Dept. the one thing that does keep me sorta in the mix or whatever.. I have been still talking to the same guy, I think we are together, I mean I asked him to be my bf a little while ago, but our facebook relationship status's haven't changed, we don't have out (I guess bc I work & He has been having alot of problems with His back, and He doesn't have a car), we dated b4, but I just feel like he doesn't have much to say to me, I don't know maybe its because He isn't feeling well, not sure.. But a guy I havent talked to in YEAR'S that I had a huge crush on recently found me on facebook, it was weird bc my Facebook is private, and I have searched for him b4.. He's a sweetheart.. And I have been talking to a guy from a dating site, im not a cheater, so it's just talking right now.. Just kinda lost on what to do.. Ugh.. Alway's something = /.

My Cousin is having Surgery Today on His Foot, he hurt it real bad when He was skydiving, He has been doing it for a Year or so and is really good, professional and safe at it, just one freak accident of His foot getting stuck in a ground hog hole or something and now He has to get plates and screwes in his foot. He has been having to get blood thinner to make sure it doesnt clot till the swelling went down and he can get surgery.! I Think We are gonna have Mother's Day @ His Sister's, we were supposed to have it @ my Aunt's but He will be there resting and She is getting Her floors redone.. I'm sure I'll get a little anxious that day, ugh! But, it's the First Mother's Day without my Gram, who passed away about a month or so ago, so I'm gonna try to do good & keep my Dad's Spirits up.! My Family is important to me..!! I wan tto make it a good Day for my Parent's, my Mum has been having some Health Problem's and been running on empty lately, so Hope its a good Day for her too!!!! Oo.. & I Think my Sis, has a bf, but she doesn't share with me,,, guess my anixety drove a bigger wedge between us then I knew!!!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


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