I just allowed my mum to fucking abuse me then I fucking cried I’m a fucking sociopath wtf is wrong with me I’m so damn weak omg but if she keeps fucking abusing me I’ll probably die or maybe those imbalance in my head with get worse so when I fight back this time I’ll be stronger n smarter I can’t belive I let that bitch touch me I hope she dies in a fucking hole alone and in fucking pain there is a certain amount of hitting that isn’t ok when I was a kid she would hit me so many times not the regular beatings u get like way worst than that I remember my skin being really red and somtimes I was bleeding I was like what 7 n what did I do not understand somthing right like tf  and my entire childhood she did that and emotional abuse to she would always point out my imperfections like my skin is always ashe no matter how much lotion I put bc I have very dry skin she would tell me ew why r ur legs so Ashe put lotion n look at me with discust she did the same thing when I bit my nails and when my hair is messy and she screams at me everyday for no reason and before quartine started she would like shame me for eating fries and wanting junk food like I’m not even fat n I exercise but she made me believe having weight was bad n that I would be ugly obviously that’s not true but at the time I thought so to everyday she n my nanie(grandmother) would say my face n belly is getting fatter ofc it bothered me so I stopped eating I barely ate til now I barely eat I just hate eating now there’s nothing wrong with ppl who r a little bigger ofc there pretty in there own way I just have a discust towards food like if I smell or look I wanna throw up it’s rare that I don’t feel that way she would get even angrier bc of that like bitch first u want me to stop now u want me to start make up ur damn mind god damn