Hi, my name is  Cass and I am 17 years old living in a world that expects once you graduate you’re supposed to know what you want out of life, where you want to go, what you want to do. Damn it people we are still trying to figure ourselves out. I have this fear about going out into the world again. It always upsets me when a teacher assumes that each kid has never experienced what the world was like outside of their little nest and how dumb and naive all of us were. How spoiled and protected we are, that we had ¨no idea what it´s like out there¨ It´s upsetting that they automatically categorize us together not even thinking that maybe some of us actually do know what it´s like, maybe some of us have seen the darker side of the world, see what people are like when they get desperate, seen how human beings would manipulate and take advantage of their own kind. Experienced what the world was like from the beginning, no sugar coating, nothing, it was just showed to them, reality, spread out as clear as glass no one telling you or hiding you from the truth. Having the world slap you at such a young age…it´s like I never had a childhood, I never got to play and be carefree, I had to grow up fast, I had to learn to take care of myself and my siblings while my mother was off getting high and screwing with other guys. I had to learn to be alert and aware because I lived on the streets in a dangerous place, I had to cut or piece together cloth for shoes and to make our clothes longer as we grew because my mother would sell the clothes donated to us for drugs, I had to find food for my siblings, anything edible would be our dinner usually it was dog food. I´ve seen how evil men can be..the world made me grow up so fast.  The social workers gave us to my father and I learned how violent and terrible a human being could be to its own offspring. The world showed me pain and abandonment and unacceptance of others. After I was given to my grandparents, ever since I was young I was terrified to go back, out there, into the world that woke me up to soon. And now it´s only three months away, it´s so close and I´m scared.  This is my first blog and it won´t be my last, I´m going to be taking you with me through my life and struggles my happy times, and wonderful times the journey in which I conquer my biggest fear. I hope in sharing my life it helps one of you out there.

  1. sanatee 2 months ago

    I am sorry you had such a hard time growing up. I know it isn’t easy, but try to be excited about what is out there. Things will be tough sure but they will also be exciting, fun, happy, and beautiful if you keep your heart and mind open to it.

    I am 36 and I still dont know what I want to do with my life. It is ok to not know. Everyone is so obsessed with standardized teating amd categorizing people into neat packages, but we are all individuals with very specific situations. I hope that you take that strength of character you had to develop and make the world a little better.

    I believe in you.

    1 kudos
  2. jgillespie 2 months ago

    I’m sorry it’s been so rough for you, it’s not fair and you deserved better. You have every right to be scared, that’s completely valid. I’m 23 so I’m not that much older than you and honestly a lot of what they say in school isn’t realistic. I learned that the best thing you can do is take your time, don’t rush into anything . You have your whole life ahead of you, there’s no need for you to decide now. You’re story tells me that you’re a fighter and a survivor, you’re more prepared for adult life than most of the people your age. Believe in yourself, trust your judgment, get advice and make time for the things that make you happy. Fear is normally, but don’t let it hold you back from enjoying life, there’s a lot of fun times ahead of you. I’ll be rooting for you! ❤️

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