Hi everyone,

I know it’s been a VERY long time since I’ve been here.  I’ve actually been doing pretty well, but find myself once again having to deal with an extraordinate amount of stress, and now I’m getting panic attacks again… (Worse this time because they seem a little different… Hard to explain).

I’ll try to sum this up quick…  I got a HORRID case of Acute Bronchitis, at the same time my kids and hubby were all dealing with some kind of flu/cold.  Unfortunately our young kitten got an upper respoiratory infection at the same time.  My family is all getting better (almost 100%), and it seems now that my antibiotics are all done working (took the whole course) and it’s been a few days, my bronchitis is again getting worse.

My kitten started doing really badly over the weekend and on Monday morning we had to rush him to the vet.  It turned out that although he got rid of the respiratory infection, he had entered Stage II Feline Leukemia, and his organs were starting to shut down (we hadn’t know he was exposed).

Anyway, we had to put him to sleep, and although I cried, and all, I actually ahndeld that prety well.  I did notice that my brain was starting to race at that time.  Although I was still able to function…

Later that evening about 6-8 hours later my heartrate started climbing, and I couldn’t get it to go down.  I tried, and tried, but it staryed up so high.  Plus my mind started racing a marathon! LOL

Half of me thought I could be ahving a stroke (because my thoughts were so screwed up that I could only get our half of a long explanation without losing my place or change the subject)….

Anyway as I’m sure a lot of people on here know it’s often so very frustrating trying to speak to your loved ones when you aren’t feeling well.  Sometimes I think they are more scared than we are…

Anyway, seeing as I couldn’t get my heart to stop palpitating, and m y mental status was getting words (having trouble communication), my husband brought me to the ER. 

They first checked for strokes, got me re-hydrated, as I was a little bit dehydrated…  I got a Chest X-Ray and a Chest CT to make sure my bronchitis wasn’t now pneumonia or something, but they both came back clear…  It looks like I had a prolonged panic attack, but we’re not sure…

I’ve got two appointments in the morning… First with my medical doctor.  And, second with my psychiatrist whom I haven’t seen for a while…

I’ve got an awesome semi-work related opportunity that just showed up today (great timing, eh?)  And now I’m worried that I shouldn’t go for the opportunity due to the stress I’m already on, and now having a full-blown extreneded panic attack – even though I know I’m qualified to help with the job – I’m feeling inadequate, or worried it may be too much at the  moment, stress-wise.

UGH Decisions…  Has anyone else found this — the coincidence that just before a big "crossroads" type decision comes they get anxious to the hilt?  I’m not talking about a test you know is coming up… I’m just talking about perhaps avague feeling you get the "something" is going to happen and you don’t know what it is — and then you have a small crisis or set-back — and then the opportunity comes and something you would’ve jumped at even 72 hours before becomes something you have to weigh carefully?

If anyone has, please feel free to offer your advice, or experiences in the comments portions.  Maybe someone will benefit from these discussions, too!

~ Tangeloper ~

PS – For those among my friends and acquaintances that are the ‘praying kind’, please consider praying for my family as we mourn the loss of our beloved pet, and please also pray for my health as I go to the doctors tomorrow…   To top it all off my husband has been laid off for  weeks now and money is tight, so prayers that God will help him find work ASAP would be greatly appreciated as well!  THANK YOU!