Just an update.

Today I feel light. I feel pretty happy, well no. I don't necessarily feel happy I just don't feel sad. I don't feel too anxious. My boss is supposed to call me sometime today so of course that's making me a little anxious but I'm not tricking myself into immediately assuming it's going to be something bad. I have a sty in my eyelid and it hurts it feels like I got punched. Took a couple aspirin but it's not seeming to help. Do you guys know any remedies? I don't even know how I got it, I don't wear makeup much and I sure as heck don't share makeup. Stress maybe? I don't know.

Things with the SO are okay, I guess. I feel kind of shut off. I'm setting up therapy sessions soon since I JUST got my insurance information and ID cards. I don't know if I can do family counseling and bring him if he's not on my insurance? I guess I need to call and find out how that works.

I'd really like some feedback from any of you that may be in a relationship with someone who is also battling their own mental illnesses and how you guys work while struggling together. Sometimes it's hard not to be selfish when I'm in the throes of a depressive episode and I can't get out of my own mind and I just want him to be in my shoes and understand the pain I'm going through, while I'm sure he feels the same about his OCD. I think it's a little easier for me because I grew up with a mom who is bipolar, and she was very selfish and I always grew up trying to take care of her and my siblings. But he was raised pretty much an only child, spoiled and babied because of his heart problems so he wasn't raised to think of others and put himself in their shoes. I'm a very empathetic person, it's in my nature. I'm loving and caring and I'd sacrifice my happiness if it meant making anyone else in the world happy, but I have to learn that that's not most people and I can't expect any one else to be like me.

Well. So. Yeah. Just wanted to update you guys that I'm doing okay. I'm not great, but I'm not bad anymore. I think the worst of this episode is over and I feel a little calmer knowing I'll be getting help again soon. Thank you all for everything you guys have done, this blog and this website have been a huge help in getting me through this.


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