God has this week been hectic… It started with my previous crush breaking up with her girlfriend, which is what lead to my previous post. Well, she called me afterwards because we are best friends and she didn't want to cry. Halfway through the conversation we start talking about crushes. Like no. Monday comes along and I'm nervous as H E Double hockeysticks because I'm supposed to be meeting her in the morning by some stairs. She being the sweetheart she is, brought a sweater because of something that we were talking about in the conversation. And me, being the idiot that I am, was already wearing a sweater (which I couldn't take off because…. yeah… I just couldn't take it off). And we begin talking. Me being super nervous and shy, looking at the ground and anywhere BUT her because god…. I just… I can't. And then there is a pause in the conversation. She looks around before leaning in and kissing me. And just… wow. If there was ever a moment when I doubted my sexuality, now was not the time.
And things quickly esculated from there. I ended up officially breaking things off with my boyfriend that Monday night…. Not the way I planned but is anything the way one plans? I just… I don't regret my decision. And I know it may seem that I broke up with him because of this girl but… I didn't. She was like a catalyst. The decision was going to be made, she just helped me decide a little faster. Because I had known for a long time that I was going to have to break things off with him for a while. I just… I didn't know how to do it, when to do it… Because it never seemed like the right time or it didn't seem like the right way. But it took me a while to realize that it would never be the right time. I would always hate the idea, but know that I needed to go through with it. Because I wanted… needed to be happy.
Her and I hung out Tuesday. Had some Chinese and watched some youtube. It was nice. We cuddled some. I enjoyed just cuddling and talking the most honestly. That's what I had missed the most I realized. Just connecting with someone. Being close to someone. Wednsday she got sick and didn't go to school Thursday or Friday. And I got sick Friday… I don't think it was the same thing as her because I didn't really have the same symptoms. I believe mine was more like I ate something bad because my mother's boyfriend had the same thing as me Friday as well (but ended up going to work where as I stayed home and slept ALL day)I'm still kind of sick honestly. I'm seeing her tomorrow and I'm really excited.
We haven't told our parents yet… Her parents wouldn't mind but we would never be alone (not that we do anything. Just cuddle ^-^ I do love the cuddles). And my mother would never let me see her again probably, being paraniod as she is. So for now, my mother thinks we are just studying together and her parents think we are just two friends hanging out. And then there is also my mother'sHOMOPHOBIC BOYFRIEND. God I want to punch him in the face. For now, he doesn't know I'm bisexual. But you can bet I have a nice plan when I'm moving out about how to tell him…. hehehe… oh yes… a nice plan indeed.
Anyways! Long Blog! I don't expect anyone to read this. I would have made it longer but I get distracted by her. I'm kind of talking to her right now. She doesn't know I'm on her. It's actually funny because she's the one that brought me to this website in the first place. She has a profile. I don't know that profile. She knows my profile. I see my wrong doing. OH WELL! lol. She almost never gets on here anymore. SHHHHHH!!! Don't tell her these things! I'm supposed to be man in the relationship… teehee.