Then there was this girl I met after my ex broke up with me. This one I remember every single day ever since our class was over and I saw her walk away. From day one I could see from the corner of my eye that she was looking at me. (this time I was still with my ex) Â I knew that if I looked back I would fall for her. After my ex broke up with me I did turn to look at this other girl. I froze in panic. She was so beautiful… My mind flooded with so many thoughts… So many emotions. Looking back I can't remember who started the first conversation… But after that I remember her calling my name from behind me when we got out of class. We had a few conversations. But… I never really connected with her. I remember one time (or many) that I cried alone in my room because I believed I couldn't have her. I denied myself the chance to be with her before I could actually be with her. (I remember now who made the first move. It was her. We had just got out of spanish class and I was looking for my ride outside in the parking lot. She saw me and offered me a ride…. Being completely oblivious I told her I was waiting for someone.) Â She was smart, she was very beautiful, her attitude…. probably the reason I was attracted to her even more. Â It's been 4 years now and I still look back with regret. Regret of what I didn't do and say. To let her know what I really felt. I thought I saw her a year ago in a university I go to now… But I'm not 100% sure. I should have walked back and asked. But I didn't. If I ever did see her again I wish I could confidently say that I would walk up to her and start talking. In reality the chances of me even approaching her are very slim. Â After thinking that I saw her a year ago I started to really focus on “pickup” and learning ways to destroy “approach anxiety”. Just more information. But what good is all the information without the experience of actually being out there… talking to a beautiful girl… taking a chance.Â What's it going to take to get rid of this fear or negative feelings and just approach someone? What's it going to take to BE SURE that I actually talk to the girl from my Spanish class if I ever did see her again? What feels worse than looking back with regret at something you did wrong?….. In my opinion, the regret of something you didn't do or say.
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