I am trying my hand at this. I consider myself pretty computer literate but for some reason, I am having trouble navigating around this website. But I have been having so much trouble lately accepting my OCD. (Which is a laugh since I have had it for about 40 years). I am not sure why because you would think by now that I would have learned to accept that I have this thing that totally sucks and has pretty much taken away most of the things I used to enjoy, But it seems lately that I just get so tired. And it is a tired that most people I know don't understand. They can't possibly. I am so tired of being afraid of so many things; I am tired of my crazy thoughts; I am tired of how I have to organize every little thing; My therapist told me the other day that my rituals have become so convuluted he wasn't sure how to help me. I have "safeguards" and rituals for so many different things it takes all my brainpower to keep track of them. And that is what exhausts me so much. I feel like I just don't have the energy to move. The thing is – I am also very much afraid. I am working with an ERP specialist and I feel like this is it. If he can't help me than there is nothing left. I was so motivated when I first went to see him, but now all I feel is exhaustion. I was ready for fear, to feel anxiety, and all that but now I don't know where to get the extra strength. No one really prepared me for being so tired. My family is supportive but they don't know what I mean when I try to explain this. I always felt I could do anything if I really wanted it but it is hard to keep that kind of positive attitude when you are so-o-o tired. I am hoping just getting this all out will help ease the stress and allow me to get some sleep. So thanks for listening.