hi i’m a 15 year old girl who’s kind of done with life? everyday i wake up and dread to go to school. i’m not getting bullied or anything but i seriously have so much anxiety being there. i dread to go home too, not wanting to hear my mom scream about how much of a failure i am bc of my grades or how i’m not trying hard enough. honestly she do be right about me not trying hard enough, but it’s just so hard to try and do anything when i literally feel like absolute crap? not to be that person i kind of wanna die. and that thought is always with me every minute. i literally hate myself so much and i’m literally so tired of living? i’m always feeling sad. i’m always have the urge to end it all. i always want to breakdown and cry. it’s just so tiring. the only reason i’m alive because i promised my best friend that i’d meet him in real life. but i’m just so tired of feeling this way? i try to go to my counselor for help but they really don’t help at all. they tell me to call the suicide hotline but like… man i can’t bring myself to call them because i simply don’t care about my life. i’ve been feeling this way ever since i was 9 and im so sick and tired of feeling this way. is it possible to just get rid of my anxiety and depression instantly? if there is a way can someone tell me? i was thinking online school would be a good option to lower my anxiety but my mom told me that it won’t help at all. i was thinking about dropping out of school when i’m 16 but i’d probably get disowned and get all my possessions taken away from me by my mom. but honestly that sounds so much better than dealing with all that anxiety. i’m not sure if i can wait till i’m 16 though and just the appeal of not existing anymore is just really amazing to me. help? i don’t want to end it all but i’m really not strong enough to continue dealing with life.