hi i’m a 15 year old girl who’s kind of done with life? everyday i wake up and dread to go to school. i’m not getting bullied or anything but i seriously have so much anxiety being there. i dread to go home too, not wanting to hear my mom scream about how much of a failure i am bc of my grades or how i’m not trying hard enough. honestly she do be right about me not trying hard enough, but it’s just so hard to try and do anything when i literally feel like absolute crap? not to be that person i kind of wanna die. and that thought is always with me every minute. i literally hate myself so much and i’m literally so tired of living? i’m always feeling sad. i’m always have the urge to end it all. i always want to breakdown and cry. it’s just so tiring. the only reason i’m alive because i promised my best friend that i’d meet him in real life. but i’m just so tired of feeling this way? i try to go to my counselor for help but they really don’t help at all. they tell me to call the suicide hotline but like… man i can’t bring myself to call them because i simply don’t care about my life. i’ve been feeling this way ever since i was 9 and im so sick and tired of feeling this way. is it possible to just get rid of my anxiety and depression instantly? if there is a way can someone tell me? i was thinking online school would be a good option to lower my anxiety but my mom told me that it won’t help at all. i was thinking about dropping out of school when i’m 16 but i’d probably get disowned and get all my possessions taken away from me by my mom. but honestly that sounds so much better than dealing with all that anxiety. i’m not sure if i can wait till i’m 16 though and just the appeal of not existing anymore is just really amazing to me. help? i don’t want to end it all but i’m really not strong enough to continue dealing with life.

3 Comments
  1. garfunkal 5 months ago

    froglord, my heart breaks for you, please go talk to a doctor and tell them exactly what you have told us here, if you havent already? there are all sorts of reasons why you can be feeling this way, and more often than not it can be chemical, hormonal or even environmental. your mum is not helping by the way she is pressuring you to do well and screaming at you. my god I can relate to that one for sure. I was out of home at 13 because my mother was abusive. I am no doctor but I can relate to having alot of trouble as a young teenager and for most part of the teen years. I do know why now, but it wasn’t til I was 26 that I was diagnosed bipolar. But everything started falling apart when I was 13. I am by no way saying you are bipolar, all I’m trying to say is, that mental health matters can start when you are very young. Might just be depression, but you won’t know until you go see a doctor and be honest about whats going on with you, reach out like you have here, there is a light at the end of your tunnel, I promise you, hang in there ok x

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  2. kaycapricorn 5 months ago

    Helloooo, i can relate to what your feeling. I have a lot of mental health problems and i’m 16. I suggest talking to your therapist about online schooling and to do a group session with your mom about it. Id suggest either Khan academy or acellus for your online schooling. But if you’re feeling so low, i’d suggest admitting yourself to a mental hospital to find the best treatment for you and you getting a break from everything. I’ve been admitted and from personal experience it helped me feel refreshed. I hope you start feeling better and when you hit rock bottom there’s only one way to go and that’s up.

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  3. wisecrackingwaffles 5 months ago

    Hello, Friend.
    Please do not give up. Many of us have been exactly where you are right now. Life is really, really hard sometimes. But you can’t let it beat you. You may not realize it, but you are an amazing and interesting person. The universe needs you.

    I fully understand not wanting to call the hotline. It’s scary. That is okay. If your therapist isn’t helping, try asking if you can meet with another person who may be able to connect better with you.
    Online groups like this one can help. 7 Cups is another therapy program online that helped me through some extremely dark times.
    And always, if you feel safe to, try telling a family member what you are feeling.

    Don’t give up! You have had a 100% record of getting through this so far. Don’t stop!
    If I had given up years ago, then I wouldn’t be here to encourage you. Someday, you will have a similar opportunity to help someone else.

    I believe in you!
    -Waffles

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