So here it goes.  I am on here the first time.  I suffer with General Anxiety Disorder and have acute panic attacks.  So days are good and some not so.

Today was one of them.  Went to the hospital as I was having an acute anxiety attack…feels like you are going to die…I have had a bad year with 7 massive attacks and weekly ones I fight off.

My family doesn't understand as they don't want to admit to it.  The doc's today said I was having a breakdown and it was ok to have one and to last as it will.

GAD is something that is hard to control without meds and with them it still going to happen.

It cost me my last job and I am about to start another one.  But I feel spent.

I have to claim bankruptcy(64K) even though I will be making good money.  It was suggested to do that to get it off my mind or I will be worrying about it everyday.

Cash is tight and I have to move to a new city to work (one I don't like…the city that is)

I fell all alone and like no one but the doctors seem to get what I am going through.  Family thinks they do but they don't even know what GAD or Acute Anxiety attacks are and what they feel like.

 I have always been in control but this last year I am burned out.

I don't want to do what I have to do.  I avoid it.  I don't want another medication or an increase, or bankruptcy or move to a crappy town to work.

I want out of debt and move back to Calgary, AB Canada instead of this hole the call the center of the universe Toronto Ontario Canada.

How to do it!?  Just do it?!  Claim Bankruptcy, move back to Calgary, start over….cause I hate it here and being close to family here does not help me at all….it stresses me more as they don't get it.

Wish I could think straight.

Devon