I did not write this it was writen by another woman named Kelly. My friend Jimmy shared it with me because he said he though of me as he was reading it. When I read it it really struck something in me that if I could write like that, that is what I would say.
♥ Kelly
its amazing how heavy an emptiness can be
i walk around all day
and every day
with a large, gaping hole sitting on my chest
sometimes
i feel like you can hear the wind whistling through it
and sometimes
if you look
(really close)
you can see all the way down to my bruised and broken heart
but these things are hard things
to see and to hear
i know, and i am sorry
and i don't want to oblige anyone
not for me
little me
unworthy, inconsequential and utterly forgettable old me
so i will distract you
with loud laughter and witty stories
to drowned out the wind
and i will cover this ragged and bleeding wound
with a painted smile and a bit of glitter
its not hard
its all costumes and lighting
just a little smoke and mirrors after all
but every once and again
this character i play so well
sometimes
even i think i'm her
sometimes
this girl slips and falls
and sometimes
i'm too tired to pick her up
and sometimes
i forget my place in the universe
and just how very hard i am
to see and to hear
i forget
and then i look someone straight in the heart
and then i know again
that the emptiness must be amazingly heavy after all
because they stumble away
everytime
under the weight of it all
The note is quite profound, quite moving.
I strongly agree with everyone else's comments. My heart felt comforted reading that, like someone else just joined me in my own emptiness for a little while. Thank you so much for sharing this! (((moon)))