It is 3am and I am awake. I am freezing cold. I am alone in this cold world that I have created for myself. I lie in bed and wonder how this happened. I used to have friends. Where are they now?? Where are the friends I can run to and cry to?? Have I really isolated myself that much that I don’t have any friends? Where has my life gone? Who is this girl looking back at me from the mirror? Do I know her at all? She is slowly giving up. Slowly dying inside each day. She will never be the person she is meant to be. She will never be good enough. She wants to die. She wants her life to be over. Her life is over, in a way. She gave everything up so long ago that her life doesn’t even matter anymore. She has cared for others and given everything to others for so long. She knows nothing but sacrifice. She does not know how to help herself. She does not know how to give herself what she wants. She doesn’t even know what she wants. She lives to serve others, to make others happy. And now……now she has nothing. She is on her own and she wants to die. She wants to give up. She is on her own and alone in life. She has nothing that has any meaning to her. She wants things to be different, wishes for things to be different. She wants to be in the arms of the one who loves her more than his own life. But she also wants to be respected and loved by her family. But she can’t have both. She wants so badly to be loved for who she is. But her family loves her for who she is not. Where is her happiness? Her love is alseep in his warm bed dreaming of her and she is sitting up at 4am freezing cold. She wants to be with him more than anything, more than life itself. If she was with him she would be warm, inside and out. She wants a job, she wants money and no one will hire her. She wants her own apartment where she can be alone and no one will bother her. She wants so much that she just can’t reach right now. Why is life so cruel to her?