I want it to get better. I dont want to be so worried all the time. People I know dont worry about a thing and they get by fine. Why do I let the uncertainty overwhelm me all the time. I know I'll get by fine. I always do but then why does everythign scare me.
It's so exhausting, being alone and afraid all the time. My family doesnt understand. My sister gets annoyed by my constant freaking out. She thinks i should suck it up. I know i should. But I dont know how. I can pretend for her sake, but i cant seem to turn my mind off when I'm on my own.
Even the hint of upheavel in my life and i cant sleep, i cant focus. I cant get anythign done. I find strategies to copefor the short term tillimmediate situationsfigure themselves outbut more and more i dont know what to do to distract myself when these episodes hit.
Being alone sucks. It would help if there were someone to talk to. someone who couldlisten and offer comfort andnot judge and think i'm some puling loser who cant handle her own fairly boring life. I dont need someone doing for me but it would be nice to have someone who you can turn to so you dont feel so alone and isolated. Someone you can reach out to and lean on a bit when you're so filled with worry you feel like youre being eaten up from the inside out.
The older i get the worse it gets. I dont know what to do. I just want to feel like myself again. instead i feel crushed. burdened. Like i've been banished from myself. I feel likethere afilm over my realfeelings and reactions and personality so who i amhas become muted and unrecognizable to myself. I'm a zombie.I just want to feel like myself again.
I understand how you feel, so do most members on here. I don\'t have anyone around me who really understands why I am like I am, people on here do and it is helpful just to realise there are other people suffering in the same way. I always thought it was just me who is like this but it is more common than we realise. I know my family doesn\'t understand either, I suppose it is hard to understand if they have no experience of what it is like, I realise that I am freaking out about stupid things but I can\'t help it and they don\'t see why I just can\'t \”get over it\” god I hate that, if it was that easy then obviously I would just do that, I don\'t want to live my life like this it isn\'t fun, whoops ranting sorry.
Anyway remember you arent alone and if you want to chat then please feel free to contact me.