what a topic huh?! I could go on forever with a million different answers to why i deserve it, but I think i’ll start a list. Lets see how many I can get.

1. i’m a horrible person

2. I’m ugly inside and out

4, i’m a terrible sister

5. I drink.

6. I think bad things about people all the time

7. i’m unhelpful

8. i get angry at everyone all the time.

9. i’m so farking fat!.

10. I’m a loner

11. I’m depressed

12. I have thoughts about hurting myself every day.

13. I’m dumb.

14. i’m a terrible friend

15. i don’t have many friends.

16. I’m not working

17. i never finished school.

18. stupid things trigger me

19. I’m on probation

20. i have fucked my life up.

21. I’m terrified of the police and doctors.

22. I see things.

23. I’m broke

24. i’m a terrible daughter.

25. I can’t say no.

26. I have no one.

27. I’m a bad influence.

28. I upset people

29. I worry people

30. My family hate me

geeze i could go on forever.

31. My father has done things that are unspeakable.

32. I have a car that I can’t even drive.

33. I am a burdon

34. I take too many pain killers.

35. I make promises that I can’t keep.

36. I can’t admit when I need help.

37. I have debt up to my eyeballs.

38. I cause trouble.

39. No one loves me.

40. I’m weak.

I have a whole heap more, but I simply can’t be botherd anymore..

41. I’m lazy.

sorry just had to add that one.

4 Comments
  1. thebadkitty 12 years ago

    no one deserves to suffer dear – u are not exempt from that.  when ur done justifying the abuse you are sujecting yourself to, or when u get tired of it, for a moment, ask yourself if u would judge ME as hard as you judge YOU for these things.  I doubt you would.  We all make mistakes, and most of us judge ourselves harder than we judge others.  Like most ppl on this site, I am sure you have paid for your mistakes a thousand times over.  You don”t deserve this.  give yourself a break – just one moment of kindness to yourself, when it counts, could mean a lot.  I am here if you need me.

    – kit

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  2. jeneva5 12 years ago

    Perhaps you should make a list of why you DON”T deserve to be punished, because you don”t!! 

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  3. tick_tock 12 years ago

     try making the same list, but pretend that you are the opposite of most of those.  if you think of yourself negatively all the time, you will stay negative.  the power of positive thinking is great.  i know you don”t feel like ”feeling good about yourself”, believe me, i know.  just from the blogs you”ve written in the past, i know you are not a horrible person, you”re just depressed right now.  if this blog you wrote was written by someone else, someone you care about, what would you tell them?  think about it.  take care.

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  4. WadeAlexander72 12 years ago

    1. i”m a horrible person

       No, not true.  People like Hitler, Child Molestors, Rapists, are horrible.

    2. I”m ugly inside and out

        No you”re not. You think you are because your mind is used to telling you that.

    4, i”m a terrible sister

        I don”t know about that one, but how do you know that”s true? Who told you? Her?

    5. I drink.

        So does 90% of the world. You”re not the only human to ever do this in history or will do this for the rest of time.

    6. I think bad things about people all the time

        So do I!!! Heck, spend a week with me and you”ll feel like something from a Walt Disney Christmas Cartoon in comparison. Many people do this.

    7. i”m unhelpful

       You probably lack motiviation. One of the "benefits" of depression. It happens to all of us.

    8. i get angry at everyone all the time.

       It”s probably your nerves and your emotions that are so stressed that everything agitates them. It happens to me all the time. A lot of people I know have this.

    9. i”m so farking fat!.

        The doesn”t mean you should be punished.  There are tons of skinny "perfect" people out there should be punished but aren”t. Why should you be?

    10. I”m a loner

        I”ve been one all my life. You”re not the only one. Being a loner is just who you are. Not everyone has to be a people person. God, who”d want that?

    11. I”m depressed

         Many people are, doesn”t mean you should be punished for it. In fact, you”re already punishing yourself for it by just having the disease.

    12. I have thoughts about hurting myself every day.

         I have thoughts of blowing my head off every day. You”re not alone.

    13. I”m dumb.

         No, you think you are. Dumb is Paris Hilton.

    14. i”m a terrible friend

         No, you”re a depressed person. It makes relationships difficult at the best of time. How can you give anything when it takes all of your effort to even exist?

    15. i don”t have many friends.

         You could have 10,000 pals but if you feel depressed it won”t matter.

    16. I”m not working

         That can be bad, and if you”re home a lot with your thoughts, it makes depression worse. Beware staying home "alone" for too long.

    17. i never finished school.

         You could go back and will – but only when you”re truly ready. I didn”t go back for years.

    18. stupid things trigger me

         It”s frustration, anger, etc – it happens to me as well. Doesn”t mean you should be punished.

    19. I”m on probation

          You”re not the only one. It sucks yeah, but it”s not the end of the world.

    20. i have [email protected] my life up.

          Well have screwed up. It comes with the territory. You can fix things, but depression makes it difficult and seem impossible (believe me I know, I”m the same).

    21. I”m terrified of the police and doctors.

          It”s your mind over-thinking things. My family does that as well. I”ve done it too. It”s normal and not "horrible".

    22. I see things.

          I don”t, but wish I did.

    23. I”m broke

          So am I. I can”t afford a pot to piss in or a window to toss it out of. To use an old expression.

    24. i”m a terrible daughter.

          I doubt it.

    25. I can”t say no.

         That comes with self-esteem. I”ve been guilty of this myself (you should see my family!).

    26. I have no one.

         Give it time.

    27. I”m a bad influence.

         That”s actually pretty cool sometimes. 🙂

    28. I upset people

         If you can find a way to go through life without doing this, please let us know. It”s impossible.

    29. I worry people

          People will worry no matter what. It happens.

    30. My family hate me

          So does mine. I”m the scum of the Earth. Then I realize what kind of people they are…which is full of shit.

     

    geeze i could go on forever.

    31. My father has done things that are unspeakable.

          That I cannot relate to but I know it”s a huge cause of your self-hate I”m sure. HE”S the bastard that should be blamed. Not YOU.

    32. I have a car that I can”t even drive.

          Sorry to hear that. My car”s a total piece of shit and is only holding together out of some miracle of God. You”re not alone.

    33. I am a burdon

         No you”re not.

     

    34. I take too many pain killers.

    35. I make promises that I can”t keep.

          Join the club. I bet many here are the same.

    36. I can”t admit when I need help.

          I never do. Many here I”d bet are the same.

    37. I have debt up to my eyeballs.

         So was I. I declared bankruptcy. It helped a lot. If you can do it, do it.

    38. I cause trouble.

         It”s probably pent-up anger wanting to come out.

    39. No one loves me.

          You don”t allow yourself to be loved probably. You don”t give yourself a chance. Which I can relate to in many ways. If you can”t stand yourself how can you give love and be loved in return?

    40. I”m weak.

         No, just depressed. Big difference. And you”re stronger than most people. Anyone who makes it through depression/lives with it is a hell of a lot stronger than most people.

    I have a whole heap more, but I simply can”t be botherd anymore..

    41. I”m lazy.

         So? So am I, so are a lot of people.

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