it\'s been exactly one year since this whole thing started. One Anxiety attack and all downhill from there. before this 1 Anxiety attack a year ago I was perfectly "normal" and healthy. Just one day I guess out of the blue while out with friends it hit and it hit hard. I thought I was having a heart attack. After that day everything changed, my life and my whole world changed. it was one anxiety attack after another after another everyday. I got on xanax and it calmed down for a while. then I got this thought that NO this is not anxiety and theres much more wrong with me. so then started all the doctors visits and emergency rooms and urgent cares. tests after tests after tests. and NOTHING. brains MRI\'s ECG\'s, blood work, chest Xrays, throat X rays, then came the discovery of a thyroid problem and my thyroid had to be removed, i was probably the happiest person on earth thats ever found out they were having surgery. so 3 months ago I had my thyroid removed and everything was great the first month. then out of nowhere it all started again. dizziness, constant chills, dry mouth, burning sensations, pains in my arms,tongue feels stiff, numbness. EVERYDAY…thyroid levels are normal as i go get it checked every 3 weeks, went to a neurologist and had another brain mri done and it was normal again. the strangest thing is when i hear someone else describing their symptoms I can spot it as anxiety right away. and if this was written by anyone else I would call it anxiety, but why is it so hard for me to believe that its anxiety for me? why am I looking for more? why cant I accept it as anxiety? I dont know if its just hard for me to believe that this feeling all these symptoms I have EVERYDAY can last ALL day and be anxiety. I have another appointment with a psychiatrist on thursday. hopefully find the right medication this time and stick to it. I guess righting this blog is a way of me trying to admit to having anxiety disorder. I know that the only way I will ever get better is if I accept this disease first, but Its sooo difficult.
anyway thanks to who ever took out time to read this blog
hope you all have a great day!
I was reading your blog and just had to comment. I had exactly the same feelings as you, I was just sure that what I had was some undiscovered chronic and fatal disease and that no one would listen to me and no one was intellegent enough to find out what exactly was wrong with me.
So I sat down, wrote out a will, planned my funeral and said, they would all be sorry they didn\'t listen to me when I am gone. So I kept having these \”attacks\” and you know what? I didn\'t die. I stopped looking for what was wrong with me, and started realising I was panicking and I finally succomed to the fact that I had anxiety and panic disorder after reading some books on the subject.
Now, I take my meds and just try to deal with things one at a time. I chart my panic attacks and try to look at this from a more objective point of view. It is hard, but once you settle down and allow yourself to truly understand you are not going to die and you have an anxiety disorder, your life will start to get back on track. God Bless!
I guess this is my way of starting to admit to myself that I do have anxiety disorder. It just gets so hard to believe that nothing physically wrong with you can cause so much to go wrong in your body. hope you know what I mean.. Thanks for your comment and taking out time to write back, it does help to be comferted or just to hear someone else who knows what this actually feels like.. thanks
I have no idea if this will work or not, but maybe when you are having a panic attack, you can say to yourself, \”This is my brain trying to catch up to my body. Since the surgery, my body is no longer sick, but it freaked my brain out alot so it needs more time to heal…\”