Why, oh why did fear have to make itselfs a main part of my life. I am a strong person but everyone has their own point of where they just want to give up. I am not at that point and don't really think that I'll get to it in my lifetime (knock on wood). It is very trying on my body and soul. I fight everyday just like everyone else on here. Need to stay positive. I only have a total of eight more classes and I'll have my associates degree. A couple years back, I would have never imagined that I would be in college at this point in my life. I have worked so hard to keep my 4.0 GPA that it is sometimes ridiculous. I have lost many friendships due to my desire to be at the top of my class because I never hang out with friends anymore. Anxiety plays a part in it also. Lol. Still not having fun due to this C Diff crap that I have. Woke up this morning and my left bicep ached like crazy. Talked to a nurse at the ER and she said that it probably had to do with a loss of electrolytes because I haven't been drinking enough liquids. So now I am slamming a Gatorade. Another thing, I was told that my medication, vancocin does not have the side effect of tiredness. Well I have one word for that… Bullshit! Lol. Quick question for anyone that reads this…. After having a bout of anxiety, have you ever had it where you have to pee really bad? I talked to my psychiatrist about this and he said that there is no correlation but I think that he is wrong because I can always tell if it is just anxiety if I have to pee extremely bad afterwards. Thank you for listening to my rumblings. Lol


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