Hoping that everyone and that their loved ones are doing well.
It has been challenging for me both yesterday and this morning. My thoughts of my dad passing away, and struggling with the way he treated me and ditto with the fact that he didn’t value or cherish me. Also, the pattern repeated with ——- (romantic relationship in the past) which turned into him ghosting me and then proposing to me. They both have (one had) the same character “not positive and unhealthy” personality traits and I think I was trying to fix things with my dad on some level by trying to make ——— love and cherish me. It led to me feeling like a failure during the attempts but having a “love high” when – – – – – was decent to me and was paying attention to me. It was rare but those moments meant a lot to me. It was very painful emotionally when he minutes later to back to having disdain for my very existence. He would act dismissive and cold.
I shed some tears over the loss of what could of been with both them but wasn’t all due to their choices, being emotionally unavailable and their shared character traits. I had to give up on both of them and walk away.
They both missed out on the best of me. I had so much love for both of them.
I feel very brave for sharing this and am proud of myself
If you read this and can relate, ((((hugs)))) you deserved and deserve better.
Knowledge and time are healing ❤️🩹
Sending love and hope to everyone. We are all dealing with something and we all matter We are all enough and worthy of love 💗 !
Thanks for listening. I appreciate it.