2021 has been an extremely difficult year for me. Some days I wonder how I’m still standing in any capacity… On January 29th my then girlfriend of over 6 years asked me if I felt happy in our relationship. She then said that she felt like she had been going through the motions for the last few months and asked if I thought that our relationship had run its course. This was all so unexpected and seemingly out of nowhere. I was at my mom’s because she had just gotten a procedure so I was extremely worried and stressed. To make matters worse, this entire conversation took place through text which made miscommunication that much more likely. Well, I lashed out and said that maybe we should break up if she was feeling all of those things. She didn’t fight me on it but as we talked more she explained that she had been feeling off and not like herself. She explained that she was trying to explain that to me but she wouldn’t let me take back what I said. I made a horrible mistake and now our relationship is over due to miscommunication on both our parts. In the previous months she told me that she just needed some time and space to work through her feelings and then we could discuss how to move forward. But a few weeks ago she told me that she thinks too much damage  has been done and it would be best to go our separate ways for now but that she’s not totally closing the door on us for the future. I am completely devastated. I miss my best friend… I miss the girl that I thought I would one day marry… i don’t see a future without her but I also don’t see her ever speaking to me again. The pain is unlike anything I have ever felt. I don’t know how to move forward and get through this.