I’m very skeptical about going into detail, about what I’ve been through when it comes to my ocd. I do hold back, there are some things I have overcome, when it comes to controlling my ocd. Things that I don’t want to go into detail about, because I fear, that everyone on here, if not already, would fall into ocd’s trap, and develope terrible ocd habits/rituals that I’ve had before.
I come to this site for friendship, and for support. I come here, and I don’t feel alone. I can relate to other’s on here.
My responsbility ocd, is causing me to be fearful of posting this blog, but I thought about it for a while, and not posting this blog, would be letting responsbility ocd get another win, so while I’m writing this blog, I’m turning my back on responsbility ocd, I’m going to be more “me” and I’m going to post this. I know anxiety will probably follow, but I’ve got to deal with the anxiety, I’ve got to learn to not let the anxiety overcome me, if I am ever going to control my responsiblity ocd and feel free from it.
So, here it goes.
I get unwanted thoughts. I’ve had unwanted thoughts, for about 5 years now. Sometimes worse than other times.
One habit/ritual, that I developed, and have not been able to control, is re-reading stuff that i have written, because of the fear that I may have wrote something negative.
For example, let’s say I was writing a message to someone, and I was writing this. “I hope all is well”
I get this unwanted thought, that I may have typed something else, like “I hope all isn’t well”
I’m thinking, I would never write that! but, the habit/ritual I have, I have to re-read that sentence over and over, and I have to carefully look at the whole sentence, and I have to basically stare where it says “all is well” to make sure, that I didn’t type “all isn’t well”
It’s nerve racking!
Does anyone else have this ritual/habit?
Thanks for reading.
Chris, I do the same thing! Especially when I’m writing letters to people, or an email etc. You’re not alone…I do it because it’s a checking and doubting ritual. You think that you may have wrote something offensive without meaning to and even though you stare at it 15 times over you still feel the doubt that it says something wrong. I do this with the headlight switches on cars. It says off but I don’t believe my own eyes. What ends up happening is I have to shake myself out of that doubt, and just say who cares! I’ve checked it plenty of times and now I need to move on. It’s hard but after a while you get so exhausted that moving on is a blessing you will welcome.
Dru, and Dave, thank you for the comments. I’m so glad I posted the blog, it was a big step for me. I didn’t experience any anxiety after posting it. I did have some anxiety before posting it, but once it was posted, I thought, that’s it, I posted it, and I gotta accept that. I agree, it’s annoying having to re-read things, and having to watch the same thing numerous times. I’m sorry you both are dealing with the same issues. I hope we’re able to overcome it. take care.
Hi, I re-read things but not because I’m unsure of what I’ve written, just because I’m unsure that I’ve taken it in, I often read something but if you asked me 30 seconds to recall exactly what, I’d only have a vague idea! But that’s improved, my reading has increased dramatically so perhaps it’s something that gets better as you get better with other OCD habits? Also, what Dave said – I used to be a bugger for rewinding programmes over and over again to re-watch a segment. So bloody annoying. But anyway, stick with it and well done for posting:-)
Thank you Bill for the comment. I’m sorry you are dealing with your issue. I hope you are able to overcome it. I am going to work hard on overcoming this ritual/habit. I want to ignore that doubt, the doubt that I may have written something else. I believe it can ease up, and I believe I will eventually grow out of it. take care.
Hi Chris
I have what I call responsibility ocd I find it difficult
to write about an example because it causes axiety to think about it and might start an obsession but here is a general idea.
I feel I may have left out something important when reporting something and as a result something will caused by this failure.I have the urge to go back again and again.
I experience great torment and go over it for hours to days.
If I can nip it in the bud and say it causing extreme anxiety and guilt so it may be ocd and then gentle move to other pleasant things.This has been helpful when I can do it