So about a year ago I was goin through a bad stage. I was hangin out with friends that liked to drugs. I decided one day i was gonna try some pot. I mean from what i heared it was good. Well i got some and smoked it with my cousin and my friend. It took me about 3 hits and i was good! I had understood what they ment by that "good high" well needless to say i loved it! And j decided i was gonna start smoking with my friends. U had done it about 2 more times the 3rd time it was wierd! I had heard that no one can come addictied to pot but for some reason as crazy as this sounds its like i was. The 3rd time i was completley broke! I tried begging my friend to get us a bunch! Well she only had a couple bucks. I was so bumbed! But i wanted it , and i stole some money from my dad 🙁 we had gotten it and we got home and i opended the bag up. It smelt funny! I didnt understand why it did but i just shrugged and said oh well! Me and my friend had decided we were gonna smoke it in the pool , and i mean its a giod way to relax! We took quit a few hits and i was feelin really wierd! My heart started to race! My friend had accidentley pushed me underwater and i inhaled a huge thing of water! I was so scared i thought i was dying! I starting crying and telling her i was dying! All i could see is my mom at work an my dad in bed discovering i was dead and they felt as if it was my their fault! I just felt like i was passing out as my friend was trying to get the water out of my tthroat i just felt week and everything was turning black. We did determine we got laced but we don't know what it was. a few months after this i started getting the intrusive thoughts because i couldnt let any of this go! I still have a hRd time with letting it go . I try so hard not to think about it! But i just cant forgive myself for it! What on earth do i do?! Someone please help me!!