I have written a few times, these past months have been difficult. My son has gotten off all his meds – he is only 18 and I feel so bad for him. Nothing seems to be working for him so he didnt want to take drugs anymore if they werent working anyway. He had tried severaal different ones. He is such a good young man but every day i worry for him. On Monday a school friend of his killed himself, was found dead in his dorm. I worry every day this could be him. He took a year off school and has basically stayed in his room and not much of anything else. He has been accepted to school in the fall but I worry he wont be able to handle it. I know he has to go and maybe it will help. But where I am now is that he is angry and depressed. He is now feeling he could get a job and do well but nobody will give him a chance because he doesnt have much job experience. I feel that the mental health program in my city is terrible. There is no help for teens in my opnion. My psychiatrist just shoved drugs on him and tried to get him to complete 100 crooked pages of paper that had been re photocopied a million times. My son wouldnt do it. He had no energy. I dont feel im doing all i can to help him. I try to sit him down and talk to him when he will let me His girlfriend broke up with him 6 months ago and he has managed to get through that but feels he will never have another girlfriend again. I want to find a support group for him or a leadership camp. Something….there has to be something out there to help him. He doesnt know how to function in society anymore, he doesnt know how to talk to people. His hygeine is not good but improving a bit. he is a handsome young man and I am not just saing that because he is my son. He just is. Always had girls sniffing around him until this depression hit. Now another death of a freind and I am fearful he cant take much more. Any tips or advise would be appreciated especially from somebody 18 to 20. Help I want to be sure i am doing everything i can for him. I never want to look back and think I could have done more. He means the world to me.
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Hey. My name's Adrian & your blog caught my eye. I don't know if I can be of much help, but I can try. I've just turned 21 the other day & I'm not gonna say I've 'been' where your son is, cause I'm kinda still in the same boat… I also suffer from depression & an overall aggresive state of mind. Also around 18 I used to travel to a mental hospital once a month 200km away to see a psychiatrist & pick up my meds. Every time was a different doc & different dosages of meds, so it wasn't really effective. I also didn't feel like the meds worked or did anything at all, so I stopped too. I also tried getting a job to maybe built a foundation to work off, but it didn't work for me. With society & my emotional/mental state I couldn't hold the job. I don't have a matric neither, so the only jobs I can really get are retail or petty manual labour jobs & even then they require experience that I don't have… I also had a friend, well more of an aquaintence, that commited suicide. It didn't affect me as much, cause we hardly knew each other, but having been someone in my class & someone I accociated with, it makes me think that perhaps I could have done something to help… And I didn't care… It makes me feel kinda guilty… I used to be a popular guy with straight A & all, but I made alot of bad decisions & now my life is pretty much at a standstill… I also stay away from society as much as I can. It's really hard for me to accociate with people. I'm not a big fan of 'people'… It's a little too late for me unfortunately. Sometimes I think I deserve my misery. Point being, I think I know how your son feels & it's really really hard… It's hurts… But what sorta works for me is 'not caring'. Not in the sense that I do anything careless. I mean in the sense that thinking too much leads to a whole lot of doubt & worry. I don't think I'll ever consider myself 'happy' or 'normal', but a motherly love means alot. Even though your son may not express it, your motherly love is irreplaceble. As much as I hate life, if it wasn't for my parents (who I don't get along with all the time), I'd probably go over the edge. So I think you're doing a great job being so loving & supportive. Sometimes you don't need to understand someone, you just need to love them. So if I had any advice, I'd say, just never stop loving & supporting your son. Trust me, it means the world. 🙂