Just listening to my kool new playlist.”chillin”
If you haven’t heard it check it out. I really like Saving me (nickel back) and every thing changes(stained).

I want to thank all of you here on this site for your support. I underestimated the site. But like my live support groups I really believe I am learning to feel. Every day is another challenge, and my thoughts and feelings seem to be different. all the time. I brought alot of what I am going through on myself because I have a hard time listening to problems, but i am getting better. I really have never handled any pain or hurt, to amount to anything so it was easy to keep going when I hurt someones feelings in the past, I am now dealing with many years or hurt and fear I really never recognized. Until this thing I am going through right now. If I had known what I was missing out on I would have been in classes and group along time ago.
Although I do not know where I stand with my wife I know that all this I have went through will make me a better person all the way around.
I have an uphill battle, fighting the devil addiction and years of training and refusing to feel and many other things one thing I have always possessed is determination to succeed, a drive to never give up, never been a quitter, have had a hard time settling for less than what i set out to accomplish.
In recent times I had slacked and become a procrastonater. Any way I am going through major changes dealing with what I have learned to be major panic attacks, I remember when i first heard about them I was scepticle. WOW! was I sooo
wrong I thought I was dieng and they are stilling coming and going, Those things suck. Any way if there is anything I can do for any of you, Especially after reading through my whining, Dont hesitate let me know! If you are a friend, It means alot to me I believe that friendship works two ways, I will be there for you, I pray that you dont take it as a weakness,Its not.
THANKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! From the bottom of my heart.

3 Comments
  1. jenieve79 14 years ago

    That is wonderful you are taken control and doing what you feel needs to be done. That takes alot of strength. Can i borrow some ?lol

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  2. georgie 14 years ago

    I wish you well and hope everything works out for the best
    *Hugs*

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  3. brokenfairy_38 14 years ago

    You’ve taken the good with the bad, rolled them all up together and made it as positive as possible giving the circumstances from which you’ve had to draw from. I find that a remarkable thing that you have done.

    I have found that if I’m to heal from hurtful words that my husband has said to me I first must be willing to see and admitt where I may have been wrong. We are not perfect by no means but to sit back and blame everyone for all of your hurt and pain just doesn’t make sense to me, there are times when we all just plain (excuse me) fuck up and we are wrong. Admitting, is the first step to my healing and I think it so great to see you steping up to that plate with the courage to bring with you what you know you did wrong.

    Most men, I know would never own up to anything they did wrong. Hell, they wouldn’t even get as far as admitting that they ever make a mistake or(excuse me again) fucked up in any way. They must be gods cause they think they are perfect! NOT!! …
    I commend you for your honesty and your strength to pull through a very rough time in your life. keep up the good work I think you are doing a mighty fine job. =)

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