I wanted to post this note on FB, but I can't. There are too many cruel and ignorant ppl out there. So here it is here, I hope it helps the people on here who have also suffered and are no longer ignorant because they have seen Mental Illness themselves…

NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) has a week dedicated to Mental Illness Awareness. It is the week of Oct 7-13. My Birthday week which is appropriate.

I would rather have any other illness than a mental one. Because people BLAME YOU when you are mentally ill. The ignorance astounds me. I can't understand why anyone would WANT to be depressed, bi polar, etc… generally miserable. Why? No they wouldn't. No one wants cancer either. They are both real diseases. I have lost about ALL My friends except for one. And that is because SHE is Bi-Polar and understands being mentally ill. BUT ALL OF THEM (other than her)have left me because of my actions or sadness or something that has made them uncomfortable. I get blamed for every bad mistake I make and all I want to do is survive and live a normal life. But some days I can't even get out of bed. I can't even find the will to live and I get blamed for it. Lazy, stupid, slutty… the last one is funny since I don't date anymore. But people will call me everything before they realize that I am Mentally Ill. Mental Case maybe. CRAZY. Nutcase. Like I chose this. Like I chose being sad over being happy, chaos over order, lonliness over companionship, sickness over health. Why would I? I didn't. I do the best I can with my illness just like anyone else does with other illnesses. It CAN kill you, it can just kill you by sitting there and wasting away. I've seen it.

All I really want is for people to realize I'm sick and stop making fun of me but it will never end. I've spent money I don't have on trying to get help. I've done things with my life trying to escape the depression and chaos but it always catches up with me in the end. After all it's ALL OUR FAULT we're MENTAL CASES right?? (sacasm) –That's what the world loves to think– It's the same idea as it's the fault of the poor people, they should pay more taxes cuz they are lazy so that the rich can have fun at the golf course and go shopping all day WTF sense does that make? It makes not sense. Blaming someone who is ill makes no sense. I wish the awareness would reach a height to when if someone is diagnosed as Mentally Ill people consider it REAL and NOT our fault. Something we need to work on but can't completely control.

When will they do that? Never. Or maybe not never. It will just take a really long time.

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