It’s been a while since I was here last but I’m really upset right now. I’m lost, totally and completely lost.
I’m a few credits short of being a third year college student and I’m screwed. I just can’t do programming anymore. I can’t pass the class, I can’t take this. I tried changing majors to get on the correct track but I think I’m screwed up again because no one listens.
I said WEB DESIGN. Not WEB DEVELOPMENT. But I was told, "Oh, they’re the same thing." or "Well, what you’re describing isn’t Web Design, that’s this." I was so confused that I went with what I was being told but am not any happier.
I have a headache. A massive headache. I’m panicking and crying and I just want out. I want to take the classes that I’ve been trying to take for a year now. I like my school, I don’t want to have to leave but I don’t know if they have what I want.
What’s worse is that I’ve spent thousands on this. Oh, the money…so much… But Dad pushed me into going and I kept telling him that I didn’t know what I wanted to do but he wouldn’t listen. He repeatedly told me, "But they’ll help you in school, you can figure it out, you have two years." So I went and here I am, so lost and so in debt. I hate him for that…I hate him for not listening to me…
He acts disappointed when I mention getting an Associate’s Degree because I’ve been in school so long but he should have known the risks. I tried to tell him how I felt, I tried to tell him what was wrong.
Maybe I’m just having a breakdown and need to rest. Maybe I can fix this tomorrow. Maybe I should call the Health Center and see a therapist, I can’t live like this.