it's so funny how a really long time ago seems like just yesterday… when not that far ago seems like it's so far away.

There's just many different ways of perceiving… of understanding and looking at the world.

Who is to say what's right or wrong? When there's just so many ways to look at different things.

Where I have failed… it's just that I see too many things without taking into account of my feelings.

I rarely know how I feel… I don't really take care of my feelings at all.

It's not really that important for me, what's important is to be logical… to be cold.

In my eyes… that's the make up of a warrior…

but I guess I am just learning that these ways have it's faults too.

Thinking like this has created a variety of social problems in which I do not understand certain people sometimes…

but it's alright now… I am starting to get better.

I feel much more discreet and disciplined in my actions now…

I wonder why.. I used to be so carefree… not thinking twice about my actions but… now it seems like a whole other story.

Now that I think of it… I am not even sure if too much of this is such a good thing…

Anyways my anxiety these days… it's all under control… I am not sure if I even have social anxiety anymore…

it seems like it's all disappeared… faded away… hmmm

but the changes in my mentality that it has given me… It's still here…

I could feel it.

I am not as outgoing or extroverted as I used to be… and I am scared that this mightl effect me permanently…

As I learned that social skills is very much important… especially to get rich and be successful.

Because no matter how great you are… You can't acheive great things by yourself… well maybe… but it's always easier to have people working with you.

For a guy like me with no money… I realise that I need social skills to get the riches that I want.

Especially in business.

It's not just about the smarts… hell if it was then the world wouldn't be shaped in the way it is now.

You need other things to succeed in the world…

Where am I going in the world now…

I do not want to end up like all these other guys working for some boss or for hourly wages.

If it came down to that, life wouldn't be worth living for me.

I am not even thinking about marriage until I get rich.

It's strange… when I was young I wanted to marry at 19 or something and have like 7 kids…

I sometimes think of their names… for some reason.

but now I am out of that, kids? IN THIS SOCIETY?


Unless I do get rich of course.

I heard somewhere… that money is just like sex…

When you don't have enough of it, that's all you think about.

When you do, you think about other stuffs.


Anyway it sure is a nice way to put it…

I can't succeed with this mindset… I need to realize that money isn't real.

Get a job… get enough money so I can be satisfied with it.

So after I get out of college… I can start to really try to make it.

I guess I've become materialistic…


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