Ok where to start…?? lol well the witch and grandad came round yesterday, dont know where to start talking but I'll start with the parts that keep running through my mind…
1. So I questioned her on her comment about saying she wanted to take me away from my mum, she agreed she said it, but then here's the part both mum and I dont agree with… nanna went on to tell me that, that night she told me she'd take me away I went to her and said mum had not been home for 5days and 5nights and that mum and I had a fight… I was 8 at the time, I did not fight with mum, mum and i very rarely fight, which enables us to remember fights and we dont remember a fight around that time. Next nanna tells me she told me those things around the last christmas we had with them… FALSE… I was around 12/13 when we left them not 8 and this woman claims she has a good memory, 1. she couldnt remember what mum and I fought about and she didn't remember that I was 8 not 12/13.
2. She has a bad heart and she could die with in a week because of everything I said and for the fact that she came to my house… WHAT THE FUCK…? Its my fault she has a bad heart? its my fault she chose to come? its my fault if she dies?? talk about guilt trip or what. To be honest I couldn't give a fuck if she dies and I cant believe she thought she could pull that shit on me?? fair enough she might have a bad heart but it is by far not my fault. She turned everything I said into her. I explained how hurt I was by what she said and stuff, next minutes she's fucken heart broken by everything I have ever done. She is one BIG drama queen, she kept pulling this "poor me" bullshit on me. She said to me she could see hatred in my eyes the second we looked at each other, yet she still thinks im going to care and feel sorry for her? *claps for trying* but when people try and guilt me I will hate you even more. I get really bad chest pains when I get all worked up, which I had for 4 hours straight while they were there, I should have pulled the fucken guilt trip out but I didnt. Then she went on to say "oh I spose you feel happy now that you've off loaded all your problems onto me, and make me live with it now" my first thought…. "well lucky you aint got long to live with it" but i actually said "No not off loading… sharing" and hse kept moaning about now she has to live with it blah blah blah… SO DO FUCKEN I !!!
3. The one thing I didnt want to happen, is for her told hold everything they did for me, against me… I'll admit I didnt let her get far with it, but she tried… it started when she asked, why im so defensive with my mum, grandma and pop and I explained they gave me unconditional love with out expecting anything back in return… THEN the cunt come out and says "well where were they when you were younger? we looked after you and took you in and gave you everything from jewelry, to holidays" BOY DID I LOOSE IT!!! I had never cried like that before, I had never felt that much anger take over me and I had never hated some that much and that fast with in a split second. I couldnt speak, all I could say to mum was "she's fucken doing it" thats all I could say over and over. Once i finally regained myself I walked back in and said "who the fuck do you think you are? who gives a fuck what you gave me it does not make you any more important then my grandma, pop or mum. You are no better then any one else in this fucken world. Plus I couldnt controll what you gave me so dont throw it back in my face" and the mole gives me this look like, "well yeah I am".
4. She comes into my house and tell me and mum how our family (us and mums parents) should be and how we should communicate. My grandparents are not big talkers when it comes to money, so they never asked if dad paid child support, then one day pop asked nanna if he did and nanna said yeah. But some how nanna made it our fault that pop didnt know, in how family its more like… you dont ask, you dont know kinda thing, so if you wanna know something you ask, pop never asked. Then she tell us that grandma and pop should come around and visit more…? yeah they probably should, but they're not big travellers and we are used to going to see them. Do you see me walking around tell them how there family should be? NO because its fucken rude!!! and if you've read my previous blogs, you'd know that nanna had actually critisized grandma and pops parenting. So i started to question nanna on it, not giving much away as to why I was asking, nanna didnt click and according to her she never said anything bad… but then later in the convo she said when grandma and pop went over their house, nanna made a comment to pop that he wasn't a very good father because when me and mum left he didn't worry and knew that mum would come back when she was ready (which she did) mum and pop are very much alike so it wouldnt suprise me with him thinking that way, plus mum being his daughter he knew what she was like and knew there wasn't too much to worry about. So because pop knew how mum was and how she was handling things and trusted her to come back, makes him a bad father. Why does she think she can just walk around and think she can put down other peoples parenting styles, to their face no less. Like she's the worlds greatest fucken mother!!!
5. For some weird reason, she thought it necessary to bring up a time where I had some friends over at my dads when I wasnt meant to. Fair enough, i shouldnt have and that my dad keeps his motobike inside the house that some one went on it and it fell and put a chip in the wall (which I cant remember but owell) AND that the neighbours complained and called the police… HAHAHA doubt that… no police came knocking, we were not making much noice at all and we were not there for that long. I was going to mention that I did actually almost set the kitchen on fire by accident, but why bother adding more fuel to the fire. But where did she see that necessary? mum wasnt going to tell me off for it, plus its way past. that baffled me.
6. As a kid she never let me forget the fact that my dad didnt want me… and she didnt forget to remind me yesterday either. The same story over and over, i can resite it word for word. Why must she always remind me? I know he didn't want me, you dont need to tell me again and again, Whats the point in that?
No wonder her own fucken sisters hate her!!! I know she will never let me live anything down, she will make me suffer as long as she feels its necessary. She claims she can deal with everything I throught at her, so I am going to test it ONCE i will see her one more time see if she is dealing, see if she can keep her mouth shut and I made it extremely clear that my problem will never be talked about again and that I am moving on. So the second it is bought up, im gone… the second she pulls any of her bullshit on me im gone, I made it clear I will have have cut people off rather easily and that I have no problem doing it to her either, I will give her a chance but i will not stick around for her bullshit.