So yesterday was a horrible day. We had two emergencies come in at once, and because I didn\'t think to look in the cat\'s carrier first rather than listen to the owner talk calmly about how her cat had not been eating well and was a little lethargic, I didn\'t realize her cat was in need of medical attention in that moment. Not that the cat would have lived anyway, it was a slim chance that we could have saved it, but still, that slim chance was taken away by one small overlook. I feel overwhelming guilt for that even though I know it was a simple, honest mistake that could have happened to anyone and probably didn\'t make a huge difference in the outcome anyway. I work in a place that rather than berating me for hours (like my last boss would have), I was told what I could have done different in a constructive manner and when I agreed that things should have been handled differently, was told it was more than just me, it was something they all would have done, so we will be changing policy that any sick patient, whether new, old or whatever, the first thing we do when they walk in is peek in the carrier to make sure they are not in need of immediate medical attention. 

I came home, talked with some of my neighbors, helped a family get the medicine they needed (but couldn\'t afford) for their kittens, then drowned myself in alcohol. I had 3 drinks at home before my friend called me, she was at my doorstep, hadn\'t a clue how bad my day had been but figured I could use some fun. So I got dressed and we went out. It was fun to be out with friends and definitely more alcohol helped me forget about the day. Would have been a perfect night out if the creepy old man didn\'t feel up my boobs at the bar…. 

Overall though, I really felt like I had real friends. People who cared enough to come get me and get me out of the house. They didn\'t need the excuse that I had had a bad day, they just wanted to hang out with me. 

So yeah, I don\'t know how I\'m feeling because I\'m feeling too many things at once, thankful for friends, guilty about the cat, sad for the cat and her owner, angry and disgusted with the creepy old man…. How come I always feel more negative than positive things??????

Sorry, I know this blog is all over the place, but so is my mind right now. I\'m not hung over because I\'m smart when I do drink, I drink a lot of water with it so I\'m not dehydrated and my kidneys get flushed out…. I also don\'t drink often so 6 drinks was enough last night to get me completely wasted….. 3 was enough that I was already drunk…..