Today turned out to be a good day despite a rocky start. I woke up early (for me) at 11am and messed around on the computer for a while. I had to take a Klonopin. When my husband got home from work we showered and realxed for a while, then went out to dinner. Nothing fnacy, just burgers, but it's always so nice not to have to cook and do dishes. I decided to just spill my guts to him which is something I rarely do. I don't know why I don't do it more often; I guess the moment was just right tonight. I told himthat I made an appointment with a psychologist and explained the difference between psychaiatry and psychology as best I could. He asked what the point of bringing up the past with a psychologist would be because everyone has different ways of coping. It was then that I realized that I have no way of coping! I told him that the onlypractice I got with coping was when I was 8 years old and my mother way dying of cancer, then the chaos that followed in its wake. I told him it was time to stop putting a bandaid on my depressionand anxiety by medicatiing myself numb and to truly lrean some coping skills. He agreed! He talked about his way of coping with things by using humor, sweating it out in work, etc. His life wasn't perfect growing up but he's way more "adjusted" than I am! It feels great finally knowing that he is on my side and not looking down at me. Honestly,I dont know that he ever did look down on me for being the way I am but in my mind it felt like it. Anyway, it feels great to have partner in this.
Incidentally, the Inositol that I ordered online arrived today. It's a sweetish white powder. Research that I have read says that people take up to 8 grams of it a day which is about 2 teaspoons if my calculations are correct. I took half a teaspoon today. It goes down easy, just a spoon of sugar on your tongue. I don't know that it has any effect yet, but I have high hopes for it.