Two days ago I spent 4 whole hours looking through my hair. I seriously couldn't believe it when I looked up at the clock on my computer and realized that my entire evening had gone and past, and I had accomplished nothing other than to pull out a few strands and make my eyes hurt by chasing away more split ends that I could possibly count. I was discusted with myself. It has been a while that's it's been this bad. I've started going to therapy again because I feel like I am stepping into a new chapter of my life and it is about time that I let this part of my youth go. To tell the truth, it's almost like I don't know what I am without this awful disease. I turned 24 about 6 weeks ago and it kind of hit like a bomb, in the sense that I have been obsessed with my hair since I was 16. Thats is 8 years, 25% of my existense here on earth that I have been affected by this. Why do I do it? I don't know. A few of my close friends are trying to help me through it, asking me what I'm thinking about when I do it, but when I am in the middle of it, I'm only focusing on the hair, nothing else around me. Am I trying to avoid something then? Even in therapy I don't know where it's going. This is the first time I am seeking professional help strickly for this OCD matter, and I came out of the first session feeling confident, energetic, and ready to attack this. Now, not so much. I feel like we're circling around anything and nothing, things I don't need or want to talk about, and she simply asks me at the end of the session: "so how is the hair pulling going?". Really?? Is it just a diversion? Is she trying to seek the root of my obsession? My guess is yes, of course, but I don't get it. She says it's not a matter of "if" I will beat this, it's "when". I just don't see it anymore. Thank you for listening to me vent. I needed it I guess.

1 Comment
  1. chez 11 years ago

    the therapist im seeing is trying to get to the bottom of how my obsession started and what caused them to start stick with it you will find it helps good luck 🙂

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