today by the grace of God only i get to celebrate 21 years in recovery. i also quit smoking after 44 years at midnight. i personally want to express my gradtitude to my wife cheryl and my sponsor Charlie D. up in Montana. Charlie has been my sponsor for the last 9 years. i can say at times it was a real roller coaster ride and at times the straight aways were really long. i have learned so much about me and this disease we suffer from. it's called Addiction and that's all it is, is a disease nothing more nothing less. some of us make it out to be so much more. it's not. i can say i would not trade my worst day clean for my best day loaded. i used for 22 years of my life. in less than 2 months i will be 56. i got clean when i was 34. guess you could say i suffered from the peter pan syndrome i never wanted to grow up. but for my kids, my ex-wife, the judge, my lawyer i went to treatment years ago. i have never even come close to relapsing and i am doing this for me today and everyday. . i just found somethng that finally lets me understand me. sounds really simple. that's because it is.
today is the 4th day after my last surgery. the pain is pretty bad but this too shall pass. next week is our area convention. i am really anxious to attend it and see old friends and make some new ones. Recovery is what you make it. you can sit around and fall into piles of shit or you can do this thing right and get clean, get involved in service work and become somebodies sponsor. i sponsor 8 guys today and would not have it any other way.
a lot of things have happened in these 21 years. seeing 2 of my 3 kids become addicts. one has 8 months clean the other just got out of prison. but all i can do is be an example of what true recovery can do for you. if you want to know how i got to where i am today i have well over 170 blogs i have posted. read them and learn. i don't have all the answers and sometimes i don't even know the question but i guarentee that together we can find the answer. Recovery is a journey not a destination and use the rest stops God provides along the way. thanks to all who have been a part of my journey i cannot express how much i would love to give you all a hug.
NA hugs,
JJ
