I feel so angry just coming on here today.
i dont know why, i have no reason to be.
I am going through a really fucking strange part of my life right now, i am healing bonds with people, breaking myself nd destroying others sanity around me.
Again i was in hospital, i took 48 Anadin Extra, but here is where it becomes confusing.
I have no memory of buying the tablets over the past few days and I didnt think anything of seing them in my room, it was like they were just there.
Then… I feel like, the part of me that had been buying the tablets had been ploting against me and suddenly the other night it took over, i felt as though the real me stepped aside and watched this other part of me sabbotage myself by taking all the tablets laughing in the process. After a while, it was like i suddenly snapped back and I rushed myself to the nearest hospital where i was put of drips and had needles in and out of me all night and was forced to drink a pint of charcoal. YUCK! Black sick and black bum sick.
I feel like i have finally figured myself out. It is like there are 3 parts to me. one is psychotoic and takes over and does things and tries to kill me, gives me bad ideas and the other part is so fucking depressed it can’t get out of bed, however, doesnt want to die and then there is ME! the real ME! however I feel like because of these 2 other conflicting parts I dont really have any feelings, emotions or attachments to anyone, but i dont activly want to or seek out to die.
I am just confused. these parts dont talk to each other, they are not people, just parts that I cAN NOT CONTROL!!!
Anyone else hear me on this?