The obstetric gyneacologist fella at the hospital told me on Monday that I’m going to have a very big baby and will be due in two weeks, so a week from now. That kind of fits with what I was feeling. I could still go overtime, of course – there are no guarentees, but if that happens I’ll just remind myself of how unprepared I am. That has helped me relax (ironically) so far.
I was thinking about natural induction methods 2 weeks ago and was suddenly shocked to discover that I didn’t feel at all ready for my baby’s arrival – this time, I mean phsycologically – and actually felt I wanted to put off the birth! Bet there aren’t too many new mums who feel like that at 37 weeks!! Well, needless to say, I am still quietly terrified about the whole thing, but in a much better place emotionally and mentally. My sister went through worse with her baby and her support has really helped.
Sigh. I’m so tearful and hormonal at the moment. I watch Friends and they say the word baby = I start crying. Someone does me a favour = I well up. My bf (long story which I will elaborate on at a later more convenient date) only has to spend 10 minutes longer than he said he would chatting to a freind before coming to see me and I’m fizzing up with angry, wounded tears, and feeling utterly neglected. It’s a burden, I tell you. This is the level of hormonal mania that everyone jokes about, but it’s the first time I’ve experienced it.
We applied for flats yesterday. The competition is very high so I’m not going to be too optomistic, and besides as this is Easter weekend I wouldn’t hear anything until earliest Tuesday next week. I wish we could have started this process sooner. (FYI not our fault). Even if we were offered somewhere, I could be in labour before we can move anything in. I really hope I’m one of those women who go from strssing about eveything to developing a kind of serence calm after having children. Please please please!! PS thanks to Angela – you’ve been lovely. Will mail you soon xx


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