I'm just gonna go right into my story…I'm 31 years old. In March of 2009 I had to have a surgery to remove cysts from my ovaries. Before this surgery, I would barely take ibuprofen, let alone opiates, or any drug for that matter. I didn't drink, I never smoked, etc… During the surgery, it was discovered that I had severe endometriosis. So what was supposed to be a 30 min surgery, turned into a 2 hour surgery. When I came out, mydoctor told me I would need to take vicodin for when the anesthesia wore off. He gave me a script for 30 of the 5mg vicodins. I put off taking that first dose because I didn't like the idea of taking pills. I wish I never took that first dose 🙁 …I loved that it took away my pain from surgery. Not only that, it boosted my mood. That moment started a cycle of opiate abuse and constant lying and drug seeking behavior for the next 4 years. I became an expert liar. I was seeing 3 diff doctors, became friends with people who sold pills, and even stole pills from friends and family who actually needed them. Vicodin and tramadol started as my drug of choice. Then came percocet, eventually I convinced my primary doctor to refer me to a pain management clinic for my “painful” endometriosis. That in reality, caused me no pain at all. Pain mngmnt Gave me anything I asked for. Dilaudid, Opana, Nucynta, morphine, 30mg oxy's, etc. I ran out of pills before Thanksgiving 2012, couldn't find anyone who had any pills for sale, so I did the lowest of the low… I bought heroin…At that point my life was in shambles. I had lost everything at that point that I didn't care. So I injected heroin for the first time. I knew I had hit rock bottom, but I also knew I couldn't stop without help. But absolutely no one close to me knew I was on drugs. I have an 11 year old son. On xmas day 2012, I realized I needed to do something about my problem because I spent all my money on drugs and had nothing for my son. Thank God he was showered with gifts from my parents and brothers, he didn't even notice I hadn't gotten him anything. The day after xmas I got my doctor to prescribe me xanax, which is what I was going to use to come off opiates. I basically wanted to sleep through my withdrawals. I knew I had to tell my parents what was going on. They were devastated but they supported me. I took my last opiate on December 28th 2012. But I relapsed mid February because I was craving it so bad. I haven't had an opiate in 2 Weeks. The depression and cravings are the worst, but i'm determined to stay clean. I'm on an anti depression med, which has helped, but i'm not completely out of the depression. No one in my family understands addiction. They have no idea what a struggle it is to stay clean. Which is why i'm here…Thank you for reading 🙂

1 Comment
  1. Joeguitar 11 years ago

     I was introduced to opiates in my teens by one of my band mates.  Worst thing I ever did.  Even though years have passed, I'm convinced that started my addiction phase.  Please stay strong and go clean.  Write if you need someone to vent or chat with. 

    Joe
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    0 kudos

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