this fucking weekend. i dont know what else to say. I’m supersensitive about my weight, due to my parents (namely father’s) influence throughout my life. A few months after I had lost 60 lbs, my father still offered to send me to a ‘fat farm’ (i weighed in at 165 at the time). Over the years I gained it all back (about 6 years). about a month ago i joined curves to try to do something positive. the main reason i chose curves above other places is that it seemed very laid back, and when i asked about diet changes they said they fopcused more on the physical (which made me very happy because while i am changing small things in my diet, i am not now nor will i ever be able to only eat healthy food, only eat tiny portions, and not eat at night. it’s just no going to happen).
anyways, i had my first weigh-in yesterday, and while i lost 5.75 inches, according to the scale i had not dropped a pound. this wouldnt have been so bad if the girl who works there didnt reply the way she did.(who i have also become friends with since joining, who constantly wants to go out to eat and always makes a joke that im not drinking alcohol like everyone else, even though i have explained i simply dont like how it tastes. im a smoker and thats that.) she mentioned that i havent changed my diet enough. The girl made me a fucking shopping list (i asked her to, so that i would have a better idea of what i should have to eat at night rather than running to the gas station and buying donuts and such) and she put brownies and chips on it! that just gets to me.
whatever, a lot of other shit about the situation pissed me off too.
i vented to another friend, cried a bit and i was ok.
now today i finally decided to break out the liquid plumber and get the wooky of hair thats living in my shower drain to die. I must clarify i have no idea what im doing, i live alone in AZ, and my entire family and almost all of my friends are in NY (i just moved here in August 06). I let it soak and then when i went to flush with hot water the faucet thingy that turns the water on and off in my bathtub literally split down the middle in my hand. thank god for 2 bathrooms. now i have to find some time to go to a hardware store and get a new one and then find a handyman which ive never had to do before. i dont even think ive ever met one.
and underlying all of this i have a huge exam on monday that i’m completely and utterly not ready for.
argh. i just dont kknow what to do anymore:sad: