| Hello Everyone i guess i can whine forever about my problems here. so ill try to make it simple.I grew up an isolated individual, not sociable not sociable at all.Parents never really taught me anything except the basics like how to eat and how to wipe my ass i guess.They werent bad of course they wanted me to always do better but they werent helpful when it came to me finding my way around the world.Im ungrateful and i know but i feel like it would have been better never being born at all. Ive always had anxiety problems medicated myself with all alcohol and drugs had to offer. Ive been running away from myself and im tired.music used to be therapy but now it doesnt help,alcohol and drugs were great but ohh man did they do a number on my brain.Now i can't even think straight. The only thoughts that are straight are those of me hanging, dangaling from a straight roped noose around my neck need i say more.I have a three year old son, people say YES! you have something to live for, your son.well its kinda hard to say you want to live for your son when life is fucking up right before your very eyes and you do something about it because trying doesnt count and still no result. I used to get mad and frustrated to the point i wanted to take it out on the people that were no help to me and putting me down but now im just here sitting infront of the pc emotionless. I used to feel alot always been sensitive but now im trapped in a box and i have no emotion at all. Is life worth living when you dont feel anything? shit! I get mad at myself for not feeling anything at all when i should be feeling something.IM trapped in a box everything and everybody bothers me…if i threw myself off a building would anyone show up to my funeral? The way its going ive secluded myself from many people…so hopefully not..did the whole God thing…In search of him i think he doesnt listen to me unfortunately because of the sins i commited. just waiting for the day when all of this will end…Is this even healthy. I drink like its not healthy that even my liver and kidneys cry for help because i feel them.Cant talk to anyone because everyone has problems of their own and the people that used to listen have grown weary and tired of my ramblings. Im a 28 male on here if anybody wats to talk drop on by and leave me a message. |
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