Too all those I had just started to get to know here at DT:
I am sorry that I have basicly disappeared these last 3 weeks. Due too a confrontation with my Brother InLaw over his racist attitudes; and then a letter I wrote to my father, which contained a threatening remark, I was forced into the hospital for two weeks and forced to take medications. The day after a two week stay in the hospital the police showed up at my door pretending they wanted to help me stay out of trouble. I cooperated fully with them…Big mistake………So I was locked up overnight on Wednesday the 10th in the County Jail. What for you might ask???
While in the hospital, I told a Nurse to document that I wanted to quit growing cannabis in my home. I eventually had a neighbor go in and turn off the equipment used to grow. What was growing had died by the end of my first week in the hospital. The police bagged up all of the garbage from previous "grows" and used this as evidence towards my arrest. I’ll never cooperate with the police again…They lied to me every step of the way.
Once I had gotten into the hospital, I immediately began too feel relief from my depression for the first time in over 10 years. I was highly motivated to start cleaning up my life. I had been clean of my medications, and cigarrettes, for about 3 months. I quit smoking cannabis on Mothers day, the day my Mother died. I wanted to start Out Patient Treatment right away but was forced to stay in the hospital until I cooperated with taking my medications. A judge ordered I take medications and therefore was injected with a 75mg dose of Haldol Deconate. Haldol is for people who experience Delusions and Hallucinations. I was not experiencing either (nor have I ever). I do admit to having some very serious pent up frustration and hurt over how my sisters family had treated me over the last few years. I do admit to having written a letter too my father "calling out for some help". And in that letter I do admit to a threatening comment towards my sisters family (I never would have acted on my vague threat). They filled out a police report and used several lies about me so that the police would be forced to come and check on my wellbeing. They stated in the police report that I was a "Devil Worshiper" (if that were true, then Oprah Winfrey is a devil worshiper as well). They stated in the police report that I have had Guns in the past (I never have, nor will I ever own or posses a gun). My nephews girlfriend made up a bunch of lies about me stalking and harrassing her recently. The last contact I had with her was almost a year ago. I think she lied to cover her tracks of disloyalty too my nephew while they were broken up.
All I wanted, was too get started with a therapist and some outpatient counseling. I also thought that it was illegal for a hospital too inject someone with medications if they were not an immediate danger to themselves or others. I was not a danger to anyone once I started to get help at the hospital (through talking too others about all my struggles). A judge ordered I be given an Injection of Haldol deconate, which was a long lasting dose that only needs to be repeated once every month. I was screwed by the Hospital staff, the Judge, and My Doctor. And then after discharge I was screwed some more by the County Sherrifs Police.
The haldol injection caused me too have tremors and so I required another medication too combat those side effect (Cogentin for EPS). I now feel like a little lab rat being used by society for whatever means they so desire.
YES YES YES, I am responsible for where I am at right now. I should have been in therapy years and years ago and I should never have grown cannabis in my home. This is my "script" being played out just as I have written it. It’s now time to lift my head up and start writting a new script.
I am sorry I let my DT friends down. The police confiscated my lap top and so now I am relegated to using the library computers for all my internet needs (like DT and ACIM Gather on paltalk).
For now I have to visit with a probabtion officer once a week and every time I have to go to court. I can only hope and pray the judge will see my intent for self improvement and have all the charges thrown out.
With Great Apology,