So no one who hasn't beenthrough it understands it. I could try to explain how i feel mentally, emoitionally, and physically. Everyone seems to be frustrated with me. I am frustrated with me. But I see no hope, no way of digging out of this hole. Depression can't be fixed by yelling at me or telling me to just get over it or "stop being a baby". I've lost supposed friends. Although I am surrounded by people who love me, I feel alone. I have been dealing with this for over 20 years. How it feels is impossible to explain. I guess why I'm writing this is because I have no one to talk to right now, cause all I do is cry, and the response I get is you have a wonderful life, why are you so sad, you have nothing to cry about and I don't want to burden anyone else with my problems or sadness. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me.I do have a great career but there is a constant heavy feeling around me. I have tried almost everything, medications and therapy don't seem to help. I am tired of being constantly being tired. I am tired of being sad. I am tired of wanting be alone all the time. I can't remember the last time I was truely happy. And all these people who claim to be my friends and said they cared about me disappear when things get tough for me. So I sit alone in my apartment and cry. I know I should get out and do something but I just can't seem to take the first step. I tried to explain it to someone the other day theysaidthey understood and would be there for me and has been avoiding me ever since, when I need them the most. It's frustrating.I feel lied too. I hate that my life is basically crippled by my depression. I know there is no easy fix. But whenis something going to giveand at least letme feel some joy. I am not even asking for completehappiness, just some. Ilook atother people and can't even imagine beingas happyand as confident as them. Just so frustrated.
-
A random piece of lost writing…
woundedpheonix, , Depression, Anger, Grief, Sleep Disorders, 0
Heavy. Tired but unable to sleep. Restless but incapable of movement. Can’t make decisions. Can’t think clearly. Can’t formulate...
-
None
updesme, , Depression, Addiction, Medication, 0
some times in every persons life it always feels like the fading light of dusk. no matter whats happening...
-
Maybe I am just bored
turtlebun, , Depression, Anxiety, Autism, Bipolar, Child, Medication, OCD, 0
I can't help but stop and go over stuff I have been through in my mind sometimes.. I had...
-
Day 1 on meds !
Ladybug23, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
October 6th 2010, Day one off of work.. Yikes. Started my meds today : 1/2 of a Ciprilex and...
-
Of trees
feDAy87, , Depression, Depression, Medication, PTSD, Spirituality, Stress, Therapy, 0
I touched upon this subject during a conversation with other members of DT (you know who you are, thanks...
-
No faith left
thelovelysoul, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Sleep Disorders, 2
i came on to this site looking for people to help me get through this rough patch in life...
-
“It wears her out.”
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, 0
Listening to Radiohead, and smoking a hand-rolled cigarette. (I roll filters into them.) My back is killing me. I...
-
Chapter One
Silent_Sigh, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Religion, Sleep Disorders, 1
As long as I can remember I wanted something more. Christmas morning came, went and I was always disappointed....