Well, I've never done a blog before, and if you are reading this as you can see, I am new. (Well, not completely new… I joined a while back but was too scared to ever do anything) Well today is the day that I have decided to actually post something and be involved with this. I have been timid in this because I have a hard time going out of my very small comfort zone. However, I am really hoping that being a part of this community will help me with my life. I recently got married, which is great, but the kicker is that my husband works on the road and currently is about 12 hours away from our house. This isn't a new thing for me. We actually lived together for 6 years before we got married and the majority of that he has worked on the road. I have never had an issue with him being gone, and I don't think that is my issue now. Many people would look at my life and wonder why I'm even reaching out to be in an online community like this. I mean, my husband is wonderful, I have a beautiful home, I pretty much have a good life. But I feel so unaccomplished and disappointed with myself. After I graduated college in 2009, I wasn't sure what do to next, so I thought I would take some time off to figure things out, but I have just felt like I have been in a downward spiral from there. I sit at my house by myself and I do nothing. It isn't even as though I have nothing to do, I have plenty to do, but in addition to being depressed I have severe anxiety. I can't even go in my front yard to mow the lawn because I am too worried and scared about what my neighbors will think of me. Then because of my anxiety I start to feel depressed. I'm not even sure what to do or how to get myself out of this weird funk that I am in. Well…. that was a bit rambled and skiwambus to say the least, but as I said you have to start somewhere I suppose and this was the start for me.
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still trying–not coping well
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That sounds about right. Exactly right actually. Thank you for your comment. It means a great deal to me.